Split: Ranma and his Many Face's
by HiroshiCoyote
Summary: Divergence Fic from the "Am I Pretty Ranma's Deceleration of Womanhood" episode of Ranma 1/2. When Ranma hits his head in the Koi pond she doesn't just wake up as one different personality but ends up having many. Also, he changes personalities when you say her name. Inspiration from the movie "Split."
1. Multiple Personalities

Split: A Ranma Fanfiction

Chapter 1: Multiple Personalities

 **A/N: Possible one shot, might write more later. This just popped into my head when I was trying to write the fourth chapter for my other fanfiction "Ranma's Punishment or is it?" I had just got done watching Split the movie and was trying to get some writing done, but couldn't stop thinking about what Ranma would be like if he/she had that condition. So here it is about 2000 words that may or may not be to your liking...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

Ranma was awoken from a start as he was dragged out of bed by his father in the morning. He was only half awake as he felt his father grab his ankles and throw him out the window. He was enraged and pissed off at his pop's for doing this every damn morning.

And, he just knew where he was going to end up flying through the air he could only guess where his destination would be, but it seemed like his father's aim was a little off this morning. As he was sailing through the sky he saw that he was headed for the wall instead of the Koi pond and instantly got filled with glee in the fact that he was not going to have to change into a girl.

He corrected his motion in midair planting his feet against the wall. While using the force of the throw he almost looked like he was standing sideways on the wall for a second defying gravity itself. Then he sprang off of the wall as he saw his own father land a few feet away and punched him right in the gut exclaiming, "Heh looks like yer getting old Pop your aim is getting off!"

His father lurched forward as his son's fist was planted in his abdomen, but he was a martial artist too and was not going to take an insult like that from his son. So, he quickly recovered from the blow and looked up at his son and smiled. "You think I'm getting old Boy?" He started to laugh. Ranma began to think maybe his father had lost it and took a few steps back to distance himself from what seemed like a senile old man.

His father took this to his advantage and knew his son weakness like the back of his hand. While his son was standing there staring at him looking worried he shot forward landing both of his hands on the ground with his feet in the air. He was right in front of his son and he used the force of his movement plus the motion from his blast forward to kick his son directly in the jaw sending him flying in the air.

Ranma was left stunned he yet again had let his father use a cheap move to get in a blow he screamed, "Damn you old man!" as he was taking his decent. He turned around to see he was now falling into the pond and there was no way to escape from his trajectory this time. He landed in the water with a load splash and immediately felt the back of his head hit a rock, he heard a crack sound, and pain shot through his entire skull. He couldn't help himself blackness overtook him and he became unconscious.

* * *

Kasumi was watching over the poor girl who had just taken quite a blow to the head there was even a small lump on the back of her skull. She was dabbing her with a washcloth trying to soothe her when she heard the redhead start to wake up. She saw the girl's eyes flutter open, but something was different her eyes were slightly changed they had a hint of green mixed in with her blue. That was odd she thought to herself.

The red-headed girl began to try and sit up rubbing her aching skull she groaned slightly. Kasumi saw this and spoke up, "Are you alright? Maybe you should lay back down I still need to disinfect."

Ranma sat there and stared at Kasumi for a moment or two not speaking. It made Kasumi a little nervous under that gaze, but she still spoke up with a sweet smile, "I hope you can forgive your father he was just trying to train you better. You know how he gets."

Ranma then seemed to come out of her spell and smiled back her, "Sure, it was an accident." She then suddenly looked saddened, "I dearly hope father isn't too concerned about me though. I know I had to worry him something awful."

Kasumi smiled and turned away before gasping slightly and turning back to look at the redhead, "Are you feeling ok?" she asked worriedly.

Ranma looked very sad now and almost look like she was about to cry, "N-now you're worried about me I'm sorry. I am trying not to be a burden…"

Kasumi blinked at the poor girl knowing something was definitely wrong, but Ranma was about to cry and she had to make the poor girl start to feel better. "Oh no, Ranma, it's ok you're no burden at all and I can see you are perfectly fine." She put on one of her happy smiles, "I am just going to go tell our father's that you're up and that they don't have to worry anymore ok?"

When Kasumi said the name Ranma she never noticed the redhead flinch and the green color in her eyes slowly retreated, but it came back. Ranma shook it off and nodded to Kasumi. She could only watch as Kasumi rose and moved forward from the spot she was sitting in exiting the room and leaving her all alone.

"Why did she call me Ranma?" The red-headed girl asked to herself, "She knows my name is Jade… Oh, I hope she isn't so worried about me that she called me the wrong name…"

Ranma was spooked from her little depression spell as the doors slung open and her Father, Soun, and Happosai were all standing there watching her. She instantly began balling her eye's out realizing that they had all been so worried about her. She felt like she was being such a burden to them all. "I-I'm s-so s-sorry I didn't mean t-to worry you all." She said through half choked sobbed before she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Akane.

Akane looked worried beyond belief, "Ranma what is wrong with you? Kasumi was right you are acting weirder than usual?"

Everyone noticed Ranma's whole body convulse when Akane said the name Ranma, and the redhead instantly stopped crying. The red-headed girl brought a hand up to her head and began to rub it groaning slightly. When she looked up to Akane the only one who noticed the slight green tinge in her eyes was gone was Kasumi who had just entered the room.

Ranma began to stare at Akane in a very strange way giving her a slight chill that ran up her spine. Then the redhead began to speak in a very weird almost deathly serious and monotone way, "I'm fine." That was all she said and rose to her feet. She walked over to her father and stared at him right in the face.

Genma who had raised his son knew everything about him and when she was standing in front of him staring at him. He could have almost sworn he saw a slight white tinge in her blue eyes, but he didn't have a chance to look for long because she had planted a punch directly at his jaw with all of her force and might that quickly knocked him unconscious. Then she stepped over her father ignoring the gasps and cries as she made her way down the hall.

Ranma walked all the way into the bathroom and locked the door behind her then looked at her fist "Damn, he got my hand dirty. I can see the filth." She said then looked down at herself noticing how her own clothes had grim and filth all over them and she smelled like pond water. "I need a bath and I am going to need some cleaner clothes too." She said to herself ignoring the knocking and pounding on the door.

That was not important to her right now getting clean was. She couldn't stand the filth, the dirt, the grim it was all horrible to her. It shows that you are untidy and didn't care. So, she stripped naked and walked into the separating doors into the furo. She grabbed a stool and bucket then begun to clean herself thoroughly getting every single nook and cranny of her body making sure she was one-hundred-percent perfectly clean. She even undid her pig-tail and washed it making sure it was as clean as it could be.

She did not put it back into a pig-tail because that would just make it easier for grim and dirt to build up, leaving down would also attract the filth, so she put it into a ponytail before donning a white bathrobe and exiting the furo doors. She noticed that there was still someone knocking on the door and the only thought that went through her mind was, ' _whoever that is, is getting the door filthy. Were they raised in a barn?'_ She then grimaced as she looked down at her robe and saw a small piece of lint on the sleeve. She quickly took it off and placed it into the dirty clothes bin and grabbed a new one.

She walked forward and was about to grab the knob, but couldn't because she could see the greasy hand-print marks all over it. She turned around and grabbed a clean towel and turned the knob slowly opening the door. She was immediately being yelled at by a blue-haired girl saying, "What is wrong with you? you've been in there for hours what were you doing in there?"

She turned and laid her eyes on the one she knew was named Akane before speaking, "I was getting the filth off of my body. You might want to try it for you are unclean, and I don't like repeating myself. So, I will only say this one more time. I. am. fine." She then turned and started walking down the hall into the guest room leaving Akane staring at her.

Akane couldn't comprehend what Ranma had just said to her. Did she just insult her? She didn't really know, but Ranma had said she was unclean so it had to be some sort of insult. She raced down the hall and entered the guest room and stopped as she started watching Ranma. Ranma was standing there with a scowl on her face using a towel to grab all of the clothes in Ranma's dresser drawers and was setting them aside saying that they were all dirty.

"Ranma what are you doing? What is wrong with you?" Akane asked as she stepped deeper into the guest room. She noticed Ranma noticeably almost fall to the ground and brace herself with her hand when she said the name Ranma. Then Ranma turned and glared at her as she announced, "Do not say that name. My name is Kiyoko, Ranma is not here right now."

Akane could only stare in disbelief at Ranma wondering what was wrong with him. She then began to think he was just messing with everybody and stepped forwards as Ranma began to rise and used the towel to wipe off her 'filthy' hand that she used to brace herself with. Akane then began to speak angrily, "Ranma stop messing around I know you're perfectly fine, stop acting like this, and stop talking like that!"

She could only stare in disbelief as Ranma's whole body trembled and she fell to the ground. She rose only a moment later rubbing her head slightly then turned to Akane and in a sweet and innocent voice said, "Oh Akane!" as she clapped her hands together and ran over to the blue-haired girl giving her a big hug while she looked up at her exclaiming, "Ranma has told me all about you. I'm glad I got to meet you my name is Ranko how are you?"

Akane was left dazed just staring at the shorter red-headed girl that was hugging her like she was her own little sister, and now she was worried something was definitely wrong with Ranma...

 **To be continued…**


	2. Enter Ryoga The Eternal Lost Boy

Split: Ranma and His Many Face's.

Chapter 2: Enter Ryoga the Eternal Lost Boy

 **A/N: OK, so writing chapter four of "Ranma's Punishment or is it?" is a little harder than the previous chapters and I liked this story as I can get by with shorter chapters. So, here is another chapter hope everyone likes it…**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

Ryoga Hibiki was walking through the city streets of Nerima, Japan, holding a map with a scowl on his face. All he was wanting to do was get back to the Tendo's and hope to see his beloved Akane. For him, it didn't matter if she only loved him as P-chan and didn't know that it was really him. Since that was the kindest anyone had ever treated him before and he loved her because of it. He shook his head he was getting lost in his own thoughts again and needed to stay focused on getting back to her.

He knew he had to be getting close the area looked familiar at least he thought it did. He could have sworn he had seen that cat café before, and the okonomiyaki place that he had passed for the fifth time was somewhere he thought he had eaten at before. He wasn't too sure though he could be on a different continent or not even in Japan for that matter. He kept walking down the street cursing the bastard Saotome every step of the way.

He knew it was Ranma's fault it was always Ranma's fault. So, it just had to be his fault why he couldn't get to his beloved Akane. Ranma must have been doing _something_ to keep him from getting to Akane. He grew angry just thinking about Ranma and punched a wall out of rage. But, just as he was pulling his fist out of said wall he heard the voice of his affection standing behind him and grew nervous.

He turned to see Akane and some red-headed girl who was wrapped around Akane's arm staring at him looking like he had just lost his mind. They were both holding shopping bags and the redhead was wearing a white dress with white slippers, and Akane was wearing a pink vest over a green dress. He started to grow nervous really quickly and froze when her sweet voice started to speak again, "Umm, Hi Ryoga-kun," Akane spoke, "Me and Ran…ko here were just heading to Dr. Tofu's. I'm glad to see that you found your way back into town." She finished with a smile.

The redhead to him looked familiar but he couldn't quite place it. He shrugged it off because this girl's name was Ranko, not Ranma and Akane even said so, so it couldn't have been Ranma tricking him again. Plus, Ranma would never wear a dress like that. He approached the two of them scratching his head with a blush as he stuttered, "uh yeah, w-why are you heading to T-tofu's A-Akane-san you're not hurt are you?" he asked with concern.

"No, no I'm fine really," Akane said as she looked down to the girl who was holding her arm, "Ran..ko here just hit her head and we are going to go get her checked out."

The redhead seemed to get really nervous when Ryoga got closer and she hid behind Akane a little with her head poking out slightly from behind her. Ryoga saw this and hated that he was making this cute girl so scared of him. He cursed Ranma again he must have told her some horrible things about him.

Ranma then leaned in closer to Akane and stood on her tippy-toes in order to get near Akane's ear as she whispered, "Ranma never told me Ryoga was so cute," She said in a hushed whisper that Ryoga couldn't hear, "Is he single?" she asked Akane still in a whisper with a slight blush and a hopeful look on her face.

Akane flushed slightly and didn't know how to respond to that question at all. Should she say that he was single? What would happen then? She didn't want to lose Ranma even if Ranma was Ranko right now, but it was really hard to make a choice. So, she opted to just say the truth kind of she whispered in Ranko's ear, "Umm, I really don't know you'll have to ask him yourself."

Ranma seemed upset with that answer but it wasn't a no, so she had some hope that Ryoga was single. She was still too nervous to ask him though. Ryoga took a step forward and started speaking hoping to comfort the girl who seemed to shy away from him, "I-I can walk you two to Tofu's…" he paused and started twiddling with his fingers then looked up and added, "if-if you want me to that is Akane-san?"

He couldn't help but blush slightly when the cute redhead seemed to giggle and beam from his offer. She seemed to quickly nod her head in agreement as she spoke nervously for Akane and herself, "W-we would love that Ryoga-kun."

Akane sighed knowing full well that now she was going to have a problem. It was hard enough getting Ranma to agree to go to Tofu's as she kept protesting that she was fine. So, she ended up having to make a deal that she would take Ranma shopping if she would go see Tofu for a checkup. Now that she was only a block away it seemed that Ranma was now smitten by the sight of Ryoga.

Ryoga was trying his hardest not to get lost and look stupid in front of Ranko and Akane so he followed the two of them as best as he could. The three of them made there way down the street, around a block, and entered Tofu's clinic in about a minute. Akane quickly grabbed Dr. tofu before he could give his usual greeting and pulled him into one of his hospital rooms closing the door behind them both.

Leaving Ranma and Ryoga by themselves in the lobby. She had a hunch that what 'Kiyoko' said might have something to do with the changes in Ranma's personalities so she had been trying ever since then to not say Ranma's name. And, it was better to let Ranma and Ryoga have some alone time together than have a new personality running around.

After she got done explaining the situation to Tofu they both exited the room, reentered the lobby, and immediately froze at what they saw. There was Ranma and Ryoga lip locked and making out fiercely with one another. What in the hell happened? Her and Tofu were only gone for about five minutes? So she screamed at the two of them forgetting completely about Ranma's situation, "Ranma! What the hell! Get off of him!"

* * *

 **While Akane Was Explaining the Situation to Tofu.**

When Akane left Ranma took it as her opportunity to find out if Ryoga was single as they both sat down beside one another in the chairs that were in the lobby. She then turned to him, smiled, and asked nervously, "Umm, Ryoga-kun?" Trying to get his attention.

Ryoga swallowed nervously as he turned to face Ranko and she seemed to be smiling at him, and if he would have been standing he was sure his knees would have gone weak from that beautiful smile. She really was one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen and that slight pink color mixed in with her blue eyes was gorgeous. So, he turned his head away trying not to look at her. He had to love Akane she was the only girl for him and that's what he kept telling himself, but damn if Ranko wasn't a beauty.

He swallowed again as he was trying not to make eye contact with her, "Y-yes, R-Ranko-san?"

"A-are you single?" She asked, "Ranma never told me if you were single and…" She paused as she swallowed, she was getting really nervous, and then gave herself a small internal pep talk to boost her own confidence as she continued, "a-and I really think you're cute." She finished and laid her own hands on her lap while staring at him with hopeful eyes. She was glad she got out what she wanted to say and now she would know if Ryoga was single or not.

Ryoga froze and his eyes bulged out of his head no girl had ever said that to him before and it filled him with confidence as he turned to her and saw her in a new light. It was almost as if pink mist was floating around her as she was smiling up at him hoping for an answer. And, Akane in his mind was nowhere to be found it was like someone had deleted her file all he could see was Ranko as he began to speak, "Y-yes, yes, I am R-Ranko-san w-would you like to g-go out," He paused his confidence was fading as he gulped, "g-go out on a d-date with me?" he asked very quickly and nervously.

She screamed "Yes!" very happily as she had gotten the answer she was looking for and asked out on a date on top of that her nervousness was all but gone and now she was filled with confidence. So, she flung herself at him pressing her lips against his own. Ryoga was shocked this was his first kiss he had ever had and it was wonderful.

He almost completely passed out from a nosebleed, but fought it off and let his masculine instinct overtake him as he deepened the kiss. He slipped his own tongue into her mouth, and she seemed to gladly accept it and slightly moaned. That was when he heard someone who he had completely forgotten about scream, "Ranma! What the hell! get off of him!"

The redhead who he was holding seemed to go slack in his arms almost as if she was going to faint. The scream of his beloved Akane and the reaction from Ranko was too much for him he stood up and pushed Ranko off of him. He couldn't live with himself now he felt horrible. Akane had caught him with another woman so he yelled, "I'm sorry Akane-san I have betrayed you I hope you can forgive me!" and ran out of Tofu's hoping to go get lost somewhere for good.

Ranma stood up rubbing her head as she noticed Ryoga was gone she turned and glared at Akane as she spoke angrily, "What did you that for!?" She stomped her foot on the ground and walking up to Akane as she spoke up, "Ranma said he gets lost easily! Now I'll never get to go out on a date with him!" She finished looking very saddened by that news and a small tear ran down her cheek as she let her bangs fall over her eyes.

Akane was fuming and now she was tired of Ranko. Sure, it was a little fun at first going shopping, having fun eating ice-cream, and just hanging out with Ranma even if it really wasn't the real Ranma, but she had to draw the line somewhere. She was not going to let one of his personalities start dating guy's she was his fiancée after all. Plus, this would be a perfect opportunity to show Tofu what she was talking about.

So, she screamed at the redhead, "RANMA YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DATE ANY BOY'S!" and she and Tofu could only watch as Ranma's whole body convulsed and she fell to the ground. She rose a second later rubbing her aching skull then seemed to launch herself onto Akane looking up smiling at her. Akane looked down at the redhead who was hugging her not knowing what to do now, but that did confirm her theory saying Ranma's name seems to change things.

This new Ranma seemed kind of like Ranko from her first experience so she was really nervous as she asked the redhead, "W-what's your name?"

The redhead seemed to beam at being asked and giggled as she spoke in a very high pitched childlike manner, "My name?" she paused as if to think then giggled again as she seemed to find her answer, "Yuko-chan, and you must be Akane-chan." The redhead giggled, smiled, and hugged Akane even tighter.

"W-well Yuko-chan, you see this man here?" Akane asked Ranma as she motioned to a confused looking Dr. Tofu, "He needs to give you a checkup you will let him, won't you?" She asked.

It was a huge ordeal to get Ranma to comply as she did not want to leave Akane's side at all. She did not even want to lose contact with Akane, so Akane ended up having to sit in during the office visit and literally hold Ranma's hand the entire time.

Dr. Tofu was flabbergasted he had heard about multiple personalities before, but not something like this. Usually, it is put on from childhood trauma of some sort, and he already knew about Ranma's Neko-ken state that he had deemed a separate personality on Ranma's medical records. So, it was very odd that a blow to the head had caused Ranma's personalities to separate themselves. He did suggest using hot water to change Ranma back, but Akane had told them that they already tried that on Ranko, and she just freaked out and wanted to go back to being a girl.

She left out a certain bathroom fiasco that happened when Genma wouldn't let Ranko get any cold water and she really needed to use the restroom. That was something she never wanted to have to deal with again. She was going to wait until Ranma went to bed then pour some warm water on him hoping that would do something when he awoke.

So, Akane was now leaving Dr. Tofu's clinic in a bitter mood with Ranma latched on to her arm like a monkey. Not only did he tell her he didn't know what was wrong with Ranma. He said he never saw something like this before and would need to call some of his colleagues in order to get a better answer. He also said he would call her as soon as he had anything that could be of assistance with Ranma's new condition.

Akane was now stuck with a Ranma who was pretty much a little child who would not let go of her what so ever. No matter how hard she tried to push Ranma off of her. Ranma was adamant that she was not going to let go of her, and thought Akane was just playing with her every time she tried to push her off. So, she would squeeze even tighter trying to hold on giggling the entire time.

Akane sighed deeply as she entered the Tendo household, walked in closed the door behind her, and stepped into the main room with Ranma still latched onto her. She saw her sister Nabiki sitting at the table and sat down next to her. She was instantly surprised when Ranma seemed to let go of her, but she was quickly disappointed as Ranma leaped into her lap and snuggled up to her wrapping herself around her. Ranma then began to glare at Nabiki like a hated enemy.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow at how close they were together because she didn't know about any of the recent events that had transpired at the household. All she was informed of was that Ranma had shamed his father again by none other than Genma right before he and Soun left to go to the bar.

Nabiki who was the Ice queen of Furinkan High and would never let something get under her skin couldn't help but feel threatened by the way Ranma was glaring at her. They locked eyes for a moment and she saw that Ranma's blue eyes were slightly a pinkish color or was it red maybe it as purple she couldn't tell but their was some sort of difference. She was then about to speak up and ask but just as she opened her mouth Ranma cut her off.

"Nuh-uh! Ranma has told me all about ya, and I am not going to let ya take advantage of me!" Ranma exclaimed.

Nabiki raised her eyebrow looking very confused then leaned in to get a closer look at Ranma as if to make sure this was the same Ranma, but just as she got a little bit closer. Ranma leaned over and snapped her teeth at her acting like she was going to bite her. This made Nabiki jump back a bit and blink at Ranma.

"Yuko no! no biting my sister!" Akane scolded as she pulled Ranma back, "What is up with you?" She asked.

Ranma snuggled up closer to Akane, but kept a scowl on her face as she was still glaring at Nabiki and said angrily, "I hate her." That was all she said then looked up at Akane and smiled a sweet smile as she continued in a sweet and innocent voice, "but I love you." Then she turned back to Nabiki narrowing her eyes and glaring at her.

Akane blushed crimson and was glad that their fathers were not around right now as they would definitely be getting a priest and starting a wedding. Nabiki, on the other hand, was getting frustrated as it seemed a lot had happened since she had returned to the house and she was left in the dark. So, she began to ask what was wrong with Ranma, but just as she opened her mouth Ranma cut her off again screaming "No!" Nabiki then closed her mouth for a second and was just about to open it again, but Ranma screamed, "NOOO!" at the top of her lungs cutting Nabiki off yet again.

This continued on for a good five to ten minutes and Nabiki was getting frazzled she had never been treated this way before and her patience was running thin. It seemed every time she would even try to move her lips now Ranma would scream 'no' at the top of her lungs like a little child, and she was getting tired of it. So, she turned to her sister asking with her eyes to _please_ make it stop.

Akane was a little amused about what was happening right now. As it slightly felt like she was able to get payback for all those time her sister had taken pictures of her and sold them to Kuno. But, this was her sister and it was starting to get annoying having Ranma lay all over her, screaming 'no' at the top of her lungs, and acting like a child.

So, she leaned in and whispered Ranma's name twice in her ear. Akane and Nabiki could only watch in astonishment as Ranma began to tremble and fell to the ground. Ranma then rose a moment later to face Akane with a scowl on her face as she said in a serious and almost monotone voice, "You said that name again and I told you I do not like to repeat myself. My name is Kiyoko, and now you will pay!"

No one seemed to notice the small black piglet that raced up the stairs after Ranma's deceleration...

 **To be Continued…**

* * *

 **A/N: Ranko means Orchid Child and I thought about making her the childish version of Ranma because of that, but I felt she fit in a better slot as the actual canon personality from "Am I Pretty Ranma's Deceleration of Womanhood." So, introducing Yuko, that means** **excellence, superiority, or gentleness, child. Kiyoko also means clear, pure, or clean, child. All of this was found online so it could be wrong as I am not Japanese I am American. Genma and Soun usually call Ranma "Boy" or "Son" so in the bathroom fiasco that's what happened for they did not know saying his name changed things, and Akane did not want to deal with a different Ranma so she didn't say anything.**

* * *

 **P.S. If anyone wants to leave personality suggestions for me to write in leave it in a review and I might just use it :)**


	3. Kitty Cats, Sergeants, and Bokkens Oh My

Split: Ranma and His Many Face's.

Chapter 3: Kitty Cats, Sergeant's, and Bokkens Oh My

 **-Warning One Curse Word Below-**

 **A/N: This is not the proudest thing I have ever written… Sorry in advance. Oh, and "Split" is kind of a horror movie, so one or more personalities will be a lot more vicious than any character in the Manga or Anime for that matter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

Nabiki was slightly afraid no, no Nabiki Tendo Ice Queen of Furinkan High was terrified now. Ranma someone who she thought was so easy to read, so easy to manipulate, and so easy to threaten was now someone who she didn't even recognize at all. Ranma went from being childish to turning into a rage induced monster who right now was staring down own sister and just got done saying she was going to make her pay for whatever 'name' Akane seemed to have whispered in 'Kiyoko' no Ranma's ear.

Nabiki did realize that the other Ranma did not like her talking in the least bit, and if this new Ranma didn't even like her sister saying a name then she was definitely going to stay as quiet as possible until Ranma was no longer around or she felt safe to talk again.

Akane on her behalf froze she was not expecting to see 'Kiyoko' again at all. She was hoping a sweet and innocent personality would come back maybe like 'Ranko.' She seemed nice besides the whole Ryoga crush thing and they actually had a good time together. But, now she was locking eyes with a psychopath and didn't know what to do.

Ranma grabbed Akane by the collar of her pink vest and pulled her up to eye level. Then shoved her against the wall hard holding her in place with one arm as she used her other hand to cover Akane's mouth. She then began to speak, "Nod if you can hear me?" She saw Akane nod, "Good your ears do work then, so you deliberately said that name again when I asked you not to." Ranma sighed and continued, "I was hoping you had a hearing problem as I did not want to get this pretty white dress all bloody, but I guess it cannot be helped you have to learn."

Akane could only watch as Ranma reared back her fist putting all of her force into it, and she could only guess what her face was going to look after that fist connected. So, she locked her eyes shut just waiting for the blow to come. And, come it did she felt the wind from the force just before it was about to hit her right cheek but it never connected. She opened her eyes to see Ranma right in front of her still holding her against the wall _with_ the hand over her mouth, and the other hand through the side of the wall just mere inches from her head. Ranma's face was glaring at the stairwell though and Akane followed that gaze to look up and see Ryoga standing there just as his umbrella seemed to come flying back to him like a boomerang.

Ranma quickly dropped Akane and blasted off to go at Ryoga kicking him square in the jaw not holding back one bit. Ryoga floundered to the ground barely able to keep from going unconscious, but he fought it off and used his umbrella to stand back up. Ryoga looked up to see what still believed to be 'Ranko' standing in front of him with her head cocked to one side as if she was examining him. She then began to speak with a crooked smile, "You took that blow quite well. I am guessing you are that Hibiki boy. I'll have a lot of fun with you later." She smiled even deeper and winked at him as she turned and started walking down the stair towards Akane.

Akane for her part had recovered slightly and knew she had to act quick. Any personality was better than this one, so just as Ranma grabbed her again she yelled his name twice. And, everyone around could only watch as Ranma fell to the ground and started convulsing. Ryoga and Nabiki didn't know what the hell was happening somehow saying the name Ranma seemed to trigger some change in Ranma

About a minute had passed and no one even said a word as all eyes were on the redhead who still hadn't risen yet. Akane started to get curious and was hoping she didn't kill Ranma. Even if Ranma had almost just tried to maim her. She couldn't help but feel sorry for Ranma because she knew he wasn't acting this way out of his own free will, so she walked over and poked her. That was when Ranma's eyes shot open and she could tell instantly that something was different.

Ranma instantly pounced on top of Akane knocking her to the ground snuggled up to her, pawed at her, then nuzzled against her purring like a kitten. Akane blinked and instantly knew who this personality was, and all they had to do was not get Ranma angry or upset and everything would be perfectly fine. So, she gently started to move Ranma little by little down until Ranma was laying in her lap like a cat.

Ryoga on his part came down the stairs and finally spoke up, "What the hell is going on?" he said as he was finally getting a little closer to Akane looking down at 'Ranko' now acting like a cat, "What's wrong with Ranko?" He asked but took a few steps back as he saw 'Ranko's' eyes darted open and he saw they were the narrowed with a vertical slit running down them just like a cat's eye.

Akane turned her head up to look at Ryoga, "Thanks for saving me Ryoga-kun, but this isn't really Ranko I'll explain when we get back." She said as she slowly stood up while gently pushing the nestled Ranma off of her lap then called Ranma along saying "Here kitty, kitty." All the way upstairs as Ranma followed her on all fours.

Ryoga and Nabiki just looked at each other not knowing what the hell was going on at all. So, he sat down next to her waiting for Akane to get back from whatever she and 'Ranko' were doing upstairs. It took about an hour before they heard a door open, then the bathroom door open, then a splash sound, then a door close, and then they saw her walking downstairs with a weary and tired look on her face.

Akane had spent the last hour getting Neko-Ranma calmed down enough to purr her way to sleep in the guest room. Then when she was sure Ranma was in a deep sleep she got some warm water in order to change _her_ into _him_ fulfilling her plan from earlier in the day. Now she had to explain the situation to Ryoga and Nabiki.

Ryoga and Nabiki were looking at her in confusion. So, just as she sat down next to Ryoga the first thing she said was, "Sorry Ryoga-kun," and sighed as she continued, "But Ranko is Ranma. You see this morning there was a training accident with Ranma's father and ever since then Ranma has been switching personalities when you say his name."

It took Ryoga several seconds to put two and two together. The fiery red hair, the height of her, the way she kicked him, and even those blue eyes that were slightly pinkish at the time when he was with her were all distinctly Ranma. He immediately ran outside and threw up realizing he had just made out with his rival and liked it. That fact somehow made him feel even worse knowing that Akane had caught him making out with Ranma's girl side and not her friend 'Ranko.'

Ryoga tried to come back in from outside a moment later and sit back down next to Akane, but somehow, he was now in the middle of some random street looking around. He kept walking trying to find his way back to his beloved Akane then walked into Ucchan's. After realizing this he turned around and left only to find himself in some random forest somewhere. He scowled as he kicked a tree cursing Ranma for taking away his first kiss and now he was lost again.

Akane and Nabiki well mostly Nabiki were hoping Ryoga would come back soon, but when an hour passed they both knew he was most likely lost again. Nabiki was hoping Ryoga would stay around and protect them both from whatever personality would come out next or if 'Kiyoko' came back. So, Akane ended up explaining the situation to her two sisters leaving Genma and her Father in the dark. In fear that they would keep switching Ranma until they found a Ranma who would fall in love with her. Nabiki felt relieved knowing that all she had to do was say Ranma's name and she could save herself if 'Kiyoko" did come back. Kasumi was just worried about poor Ranma hoping that he would recover soon.

After a nice home cooked meal by Kasumi and a warm relaxing bath, Akane went to bed hoping that tomorrow one of two things would happen when she woke up. One Ranma would be back to normal which would be the best-case scenario, or two a nicer and more civilized Ranma would be their come morning.

* * *

 **The Next Morning.**

When Akane awoke the next morning, she rubbed her eyes and stretched as she slowly climbed out of her bed completely forgetting about yesterday's events. She did hear the sounds of training going on outside, but it sounded different, and she couldn't quite place it. So, she walked out of her room and down the stairs to see Nabiki sitting at the table with a coffee in her hand staring wide-eyed out towards the backyard. Then noticed Kasumi was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her hand brought up to her mouth looking out into the backyard as well.

When Akane got down to the bottom of the stairs she asked her sisters, "What is it? What's wrong?"

Nabiki looked up to her and grinned, "You have to see this," and motioned for Akane to come over and as Akane got closer she said, "His name is Sergeant Sato, he thinks he is some kind of general or something."

When Akane got near the table and looked out into the backyard her mouth dropped open as yesterday's events came back to her. There was male Ranma all dressed up in a military outfit blowing a whistle as he watched over their fathers that were crawling through a makeshift mud pit with barbed wire running across the top of it. She heard Ranma scream in a gruff and ruff voice, "Not good enough you maggot!" as he smacked his father over the head with a clipboard when he came out the other end.

Ranma was getting frustrated his two cadets that he was over were old, out of shape, wouldn't listen to him, and they kept calling him "boy" and "Son." That was disrespectful to a man in his position, so a vain was popping out of the side of his neck as he was trying to get them whipped into shape. He would be damned he if was gonna have to take these two scoundrels in to war with him or put a rifle in their hands for that matter.

So, just as Genma and Soun were done with another round crawling through the mud pit with barbed wire running over the top of it he screamed, "Attention!" and both of his cadets got into position putting one hand up to their heads in a salute, with their legs together, and went stiff as they faced him. He paced in front of them for a second or two and would turn to look at them every once in a while, with his arms crossed behind his own back.

He then began to speak in a gruff and ruff sounding voice, "I am Sergeant Sato, and from now on I am your senior drill instructor." He paused and got up in Soun's face, "from now on you will speak only when spoken too!" he saw Soun flinch and his face grew red with rage as he screamed mere inches from Soun's face, "Do I make you nervous!?" and little bit of spit came flying out of his mouth and landing on Soun's face.

Soun did not know what was happening or how he got roped into doing all of these things but Ranma was terrifying right now so he answered weakly, "N-no." And immediately regretted it.

Ranma got all up in his face as he screamed, "Did I say you could talk maggot?!" He saw Soun quickly shake his head and Ranma internally smiled but he kept his rage showing. He knew full well he just asked him a question, but he continued on pacing in front of them both, "The first and last things out of your filthy mouths will be sir." He paused and got up in his own father's face, "Do you understand that!?" when both of his Cadets answered with "Sir yes sir." He knew he was finally getting somewhere.

Akane sweatdropped as she was watching what was happening and Ranma seemed to keep yelling random things at both of them. Then she saw Ranma scream at both of them very angrily. She figured they must have done something wrong because now both of their fathers were doing pushups while Ranma was standing over them yelling things she had never heard before or wanted to hear again.

Her attention was brought away from what was happening out in the backyard as she heard Nabiki speak up, "He woke me up really early," She paused then turned to look at her sister as she continued, "just so he could borrow some money for the barbed wire and I think he is wearing grandfathers old military uniform. I don't know how he found it though."

Akane then heard Kasumi say, "Poor father, I hope Sergeant Sato, doesn't work him too hard before he goes off to war." Then turned to go back into the kitchen.

Akane sweatdropped again from hearing that from her sister. Then sighed as she realized this morning was going to be a weird one and they still needed to get to school, so she ignored Ranma's new personality to go get ready for the day. Knowing that at least this one was focused on their fathers and not trying to bite Nabiki, date Ryoga, or… maim her.

Ranma had just got done punishing his cadets because the one named Genma called him boy, so he made them both do one-hundred pushups. When they arose and got back into a salute he got up in his father's face again, "What's your name scumbag!"

Genma spoke loudly, "Sir Private Genma sir!" Then Ranma screamed at him, "Bull-shit from now on your Private Jelly-Belly! Do you like that name?!"

Genma did not know why his son was acting this way at all. He was almost hoping the boy would go back to wanting to be a girl. This new training method was hard, and he especially didn't like his son dragging him out of bed for it so early. Ranma was scary right now though and he didn't want to make him any angrier than he already was so he spoke with passion, "Sir yes Sir!"

Ranma stayed in his father face as he screamed, "Well there is one thing that you won't like they don't serve Twinkies and ice-cream on a daily basis in my mess hall!" he then pointed towards the kitchen.

When Akane came down the stairs ready to go to school and entered the dining room. She looked around and noticed that her sister was already gone and Genma and Soun were sulking in the corner with only a small amount of rice in each of their bowls. While Ranma was sitting at the table still in a military uniform eating a full course meal for breakfast then turned to look up to her as he spoke, "Hey there darlin' are you ready to go to school?"

Akane didn't know what to do but Ranma was being nice to her so she just nodded her head. Then watched as Ranma got up, took her book bag, and offered her his arm. She looked at it for a second but thought it was really sweet, so she accepted and allowed him to escort her out of the front door and towards school.

Genma and Soun quickly launched themselves on to the smorgasbord that Ranma left behind, but just as they were about to dig in. It seemed to have disappeared and Kasumi was holding it away from them both as she spoke, "Sorry father, Sergeant Sato was very adamant that I do not let you eat any more than you were given."

"B-b-But Kasumi?" Soun pleaded to no avail as he heard Kasumi call back, "Sorry father." And she took all of the food back into the kitchen. Soun crossed his arms then turned to his friend and said, "We have got to do something about that boy of yours Private Jelly-Belly."

Genma nodded his head, "Right Tendo," then paused and glared at him, "Hey don't call me that Tendo."

Soun then looked up and shook his head while he said, "Sorry Private Jelly-Belly I'm not going to be taking any chances even if your boy isn't around." He then thought, ' _I could have sworn the boy's eyes were slightly hazel looking probably just my imagination.'_

When Ranma and Akane were walking through the gates of Furinkan High they were getting weird looks from everybody. And, it really wasn't because of the outfit Ranma was wearing it was the way he was treating her. He was acting so nice to her and treating her so well that everyone was staring at the two of them the whole time. That was when she looked ahead and saw Kuno run up to them both.

"Un-hand her you vile cur!" Kuno screamed as he approached Ranma and Akane. Ranma immediately got into a fighting stance in front of Akane and faced down Kuno as he spoke, "Damn ninjas are all over this place!"

Kuno lunged forward with his bokken but stopped right before he was going to attack as Ranma's words sunk in, "I am no ninja, I am a great samurai from the honorary house of Kuno. We have a strong lineage going back decades now have at thee Saotome Ranma!" Kuno proclaimed and was about to attack again but just as he got close to Ranma he saw Ranma fall to the ground.

Akane could only watch in disbelief as Ranma fell to the ground in front of her. She thought you had to say his name twice why did it just work once this time? She asked herself as she saw Ranma convulsing on the ground in front of her. Kuno, Akane, and all the other students in Furinkan were staring at Ranma wondering what was going to happen next or what was happening at all for that matter.

Then Ranma stood up, shook his head, and turned to stare at Akane as he started speaking, "You must be the beauteous Tendo Akane," Ranma said as he dropped to one knee and took her hand but had to stop in order to dodge a bokken from Kuno. He jumped back to face his combatant as he proclaimed, "You vile cur how dare you try to lay a hand on me!"

Kuno stepped forward as he said, "Stop mocking me you foul sorcerer have at thee!" he then lunged forward with his bokken trying to strike at Ranma, but Ranma dodged it and ran into a school girl who was drinking from a water bottle and got accidentally splashed triggering the change.

Ranma looked down at herself and gasped before turning her attention back to Kuno exclaiming, "You Wicked Warlock, how dare you use evil magic to turn me into a woman. I am the Red Lighting of Furinkan High, and the honor of the house of Saotome! Have at thee!" she yelled as she charged toward him.

Kuno for his part was dazed he did not know why his tree-born kettle girl was speaking to him in such a manner. He was so lost in thought trying to figure out how to break this new spell the foul sorcerer put on her. That he never saw the foot connect with his face that quickly sent him into unconsciousness.

Akane was left stunned as she thought, _'now Ranma's, Kuno that's just great. I am not going to school with him acting like this.'_

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **A/N: I hope I never write something this weird ever again... I promise next chapter there will not be any weirdo personalities. Also, I can't remember if they ever talk about the Tendo's grandfather (Happosai doesn't count.) in the Anime or Manga. So, let's just say he was in the military because Ranma needed a military uniform from somewhere and I wasn't going to have him just magically make it appear. Yes, that would make it would be a Japanese military uniform. Oh, and if you didn't realize it** ' **Seargent Sato' is based on Gunnery Seargent Hartman from the movie "Full Metal Jacket."**


	4. Bokken Brains and Motor Mouths

Split: Ranma and His Many Face's.

Chapter 4: Bokken Brains and Motor Mouths

 **A/N: In the Anime, no one knows about Ranma's curse at school during this episode so let's just say that no one knows about it in this fanfic as well.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

Ukyo Kuonji was livid and it wasn't because she had to open up her restaurant early this morning before school just to make enough money to afford rent this month. It wasn't even the fact that Ryoga had walked into her restaurant this morning four times and didn't order a damn thing. It was the fact that when she got to school her Ranchan was saying his or her name was 'Red Lighting' and how beauteous Ranma thought her beloved Tendo Akane was.

Nabiki couldn't believe how stupid her little sister was being right now. Akane should have known better than to bring male Ranma to school where everyone and their mother knows his name and will say it to get his attention. So, she was running down to the courtyard to try and prevent a disaster from happening, and right as she exited the front doors she saw a disaster about to happen. There was Ukyo face all contorted in anger and battle spatula at the ready about to attack her Ranchan.

Ranma wasn't going let the evil magic that the one known as Kuno used to make her a woman come between her and her true love. She would either get used to it or find a way to break the spell that the Wicked Warlock put on her, but right now her Tendo Akane was more important than this womanly body that she now possessed.

Ranma ran up to Akane and got down on one knee, "Forgive the Red Lighting for I do not know how I came to inhabit this demonic body," Ranma paused, stood up, and took Akane's hands in her own, "But, fear not because my love for you runs deeper than this mere vessel that I now possess," Ranma got closer and looked Akane straight in the eye, "My beauteous Tendo Akane date with me."

Akane was about to say something along the lines that they are both girls right now and standing in the middle of the schoolyard, but just as she opened her mouth a giant spatula came flying down between her and Ranma breaking the two of them apart.

Ukyo jerked her spatula back out of the ground and turned to face her Ranchan, "What the hell you Jackass I thought I was your cute fiancée!" She snarled as she swung her spatula at Ranma.

Ranma jumped and landed on Ukyo spatula. She then leaned down and gazed into Ukyo's eyes all but freezing the okonomiyaki chef in her tracks. Ukyo could have almost sworn Ranma had streaks of red and yellow in her blue eyes but didn't get to think about it too much before Ranma started speaking, "You are right how could I have forgotten," Ranma jumped off of her spatula stepped closer to Ukyo as she continued, "Your beauty knows no bounds. Date with me my spatula-girl and we shall make all the commoners envious of our love."

Akane's eyebrow was twitching with anger as she couldn't believe Ranma was saying those things to Ukyo right after saying them to her. Her building rage made her completely forget why Ranma was acting this way as she brought out her mallet and ran towards Ranma trying to knock her into the sky, but Ranma stepped back right before the blow was going to connect and turned to face Akane exclaiming, "My beauteous Tendo Akane fear not I have plenty of love for the both of you." Ranma paused then snapped her fingers as if she had an idea, "Hizza that is it I shall date you both!"

Ukyo went from being so glad Ranchan was telling her these things to pissed off beyond belief. Akane couldn't believe Ranma had become a two-timing pervert.

Ukyo screamed, "Ranma Honey you two-timing Jackass!" As she hit Ranma in the side with her spatula.

Akane screamed, "Ranma how could y-you PERVERT!" As she swung her mallet that connected with Ranma's other side.

Ukyo froze at the sight of Ranma on the ground. She knew she hit Ranma hard but didn't think that she hit Ranma hard enough to make her fall to the ground and start shaking uncontrollably. Akane's eyes went wide as she watched Ranma thinking, ' _oh no I forgot about Ranma's condition... well as long as it's not Kiyoko we should be fine...'_

Nabiki who had been watching the whole thing smacked her forehead as this was the problem she was hoping to avoid. _'Can't be helped now I guess... we just have to see who we get next. Sorry, dear sister but if it's Kiyoko or Yuko you are on your own.'_ She thought.

Akane had a few seconds to think about the situation while she was waiting to see what Ranma they were going to get next. The main problem is should she tell Ukyo? If she did tell her would Ukyo abuse it like she figured her father and Genma would? But, Ukyo has been Ranma's friend for the longest amount of time and hopefully, that would be enough.

So, Akane quickly grabbed Ukyo and whispered in her ear, "Something is wrong with Ranma I will explain more about it later just whatever you do, do _not_ say his name."

Ukyo turned to stare at Akane like she was crazy and didn't believe anything as they both turned their attention back to the redhead who rose rubbing her head for a moment before running up to them smiling.

When Ranma got close she was practically beaming as she spelled out, "M-E-G-U-M-I that so, like, spells Megumi and that's, like, totally my name," she then quickly shook Akane's hand and continued, "Hi oh my gosh you must, like, be Akane-chan," then quickly turned and shook Ukyo's hand as she said, "And, like, you must totally be Ukyo-chan. I am so, like, totally very happy to meet you both."

Ranma then stepped back and smiled waiting for them to say something and when Ukyo and Akane didn't instantly reply she glared at them both while she screamed, "SAY HI BACK NOW!" as she stomped her foot.

Akane jumped slightly from being yelled at like that and was the first to recover. She was just glad this wasn't 'Kiyoko' at least so she forced a smile as she said, "Umm hi Megumi it's very nice to meet you too…" she then saw Ranma smile at her then turned to glare at Ukyo.

Akane nudged Ukyo breaking her from her slight shock. Ukyo then blinked at Ranma not knowing what to do, but Akane did say something was wrong with Ranma and not to say his name. So, she nervously said, "Uhh, h-hi Ran... I mean Megumi?" she finished it almost asking it like a question.

Ranma nodded her head and her face relaxed as she said, "Like, oh my gosh isn't this, like, totally B-E-T-T-E-"

Nabiki cut her off as she approached them saying, "Hurry up you two grab her and come on! class is about to star-" she had to stop as her cheek started stinging.

Ranma was fuming how dare someone, like, totally cut her off that is so, like, totally impolite so she ran up to Nabiki and slapped her as she said, "Oh my gosh! How dare you, like, try to interrupt me that is, like, so totally RUDE!"

Ranma then ran back to Ukyo and Akane and beamed as she continued, "So, Like, I was totally saying before I got, like, rudely interrupted. Isn't it, like, B-E-T-T-E-R now that we are, like, so totally best friends?" When she saw both of the girls slowly nod their heads she ran back to Nabiki not even noticing the weird gazes she was getting from them both and a nod was all she needed to confirm their friendship.

When she approached Nabiki who was holding her cheek she said, "I am like so totally sorry, but you, like, cut me off and I, like, do not, like, to be interrupted at all." She then paused and smiled as she shook Nabiki's hand forcefully, "My name is M-E-G-U-M-I that spells Megumi and, like, oh my gosh you must, like, totally be Nabiki-chan."

Nabiki swallowed a lump and she did not like being slapped, but it wasn't that hard of a slap, to be honest, it just stung a little. She did know two things though this wasn't 'Kiyoko' or 'Yuko' and she had also been around girls like this before so she knew how to manipulate them.

She quickly straightened up and smiled as she said, "No, no my fault Megumi-chan it was rude of me to interrupt you. Now, how about we all head inside and go to class? I am sure you can meet a _bunch_ of new friends in school." She finished with a smile.

Ranma nodded her head and beamed as she said, "Like, oh my gosh totally that is so, like, a totally great Idea your, like, so smart Nabiki-chan!" she then ran back to Ukyo and Akane practically dragging them as she followed Nabiki into the school.

When all them entered the school Nabiki pulled Akane over and whispered to her, "How could you be so stupid to bring male Ranma to school. He would have been switching all day long." Akane was about to say she never thought about that but never got a chance as the redhead started talking.

Ranma immediately gasped as she looked down at herself saying, "No, no, no this is totally not going to work, like, what am I going to do?"

Nabiki turned around and saw Ranma looking down at her clothes and smiled as she said, "Oh, don't worry Megumi-chan follow me and I can get you something to wear." She then paused as she looked at the time, "Hmm we will have to hurry though." Then turned to her sister and continued, "Akane, Ukyo leave Megumi with me and I will get everything straightened out. Also, Akane fill Ukyo in on what is wrong with… umm your fiancé."

Ranma turned around and was practically jumping up and down as she said, "Like, oh my gosh you have a fiancé Akane-chan? That is so, like, totally romantic is he handsome? Oh, I bet he is a pretty girl, like, you I bet you so, like, totally snagged a hunk."

Ukyo mouth was hanging open and was too dazed from seeing her Ranchan acting this way to say anything at all. Akane merely sweat dropped as she said, "Uh-huh he is good looking I guess…"

Ranma nodded her head ferociously but realized that she totally needed to hurry. She, like, did not want to go to school dressed as a Japanese military officer or be late to school on her first day. So, she quickly said bye to Akane and Ukyo then started to follow Nabiki.

Nabiki took Ranma all the way to the school store and bought her a girl's school uniform on Ranma's tab of course. Then went to the administrator's office where she used her connections to get 'Megumi' enrolled in Furinkan High without the entrance exam. Which she also added to Ranma's tab. Nabiki got this all done in record time as she was able to drop Ranma off dressed in her new uniform at her homeroom and make it back to her own homeroom right before the late bell rang.

Akane had told Ukyo everything about what happened while Nabiki was doing whatever she was doing with Ranma. Ukyo didn't know what to think about the situation, but from this mornings antics and when Akane told her about 'Kiyoko' she promised she would try to not say his name. Now they were both sitting at their desks waiting for class to start. This was just when Ranma walked in dressed in the Furinkan High school girls uniform.

All eyes were on the cute little redhead who entered the classroom as she ran over to the teacher smiling and handed him a note, but before he even said anything she ran to the front of the room and started introducing herself, "Hi," she said with a wave then continued, "M-E-G-U-M-I that, like, totally spells Megumi and that's so, like, my name. I have, like, three B.F.F's Akane-chan, Ukyo-chan, and Nabiki-chan. Well, me and Nabiki-chan, like, totally got off on the wrong foot. She was, like, so totally rude and interrupted me when I was so, like, talking so I, like, slapped her, but we are so, like, totally best friends now. She, like, took me shopping and then, like, got me enrolled then, like-"

The teacher cleared his throat as he said, "I think that is enough Megumi-chan you can take you-" he got that far before his cheek started stinging.

Ranma ran over and slapped the teacher after she got so totally interrupted again, "THAT IS, LIKE, SO TOTALLY RUDE!" she screamed at him then went back to the front of the room and sighed before putting on a happy smile and continuing, "So, like, I was saying before I, like, so totally got interrupted me and, like Nabiki-chan…"

Akane and Ukyo both sighed as Ranma continued talking for the rest of the class period and the teacher tried to get her to stop but gave up after she slapped him four times for, like, so totally being rude and interrupted her.

Eventually, it took three class periods before Ranma was done introducing herself and talking about her three best friends. She had also slapped every new teacher about six times each for, like, so totally interrupting her. So, now she had just got done introducing herself and she was waiting for her peers to answer. When they didn't respond right away she screamed at them, "SAY NICE TO MEET YOU MEGUMI-CHAN NOW!"

Every student who had pretty much fell asleep after the second teacher came in jumped and said in a slightly monotone chorus, "Nice to meet you Megumi-chan…" and plopped their heads on their desk glad that the new girl was finally done talking.

Ranma beamed now she, like, totally had a whole classroom of, like, friends so she was, like, practically skipping over to the empty desk beside her, like, totally B.F.F Akane-chan and sat down waiting for the lesson to start.

The rest of the day went by in a blur for Akane and Ukyo and it was hell whenever the teacher would ask Ranma a question. It was clear that she did not know the answer what so ever, but would somehow tie it into her B.F.F's. Then she would slap the teacher for interrupted her if they tried to get her to stop or tell her they were talking about problem five not how totally gorgeous Akane-chan's blue hair was, how shiny Ukyo-chan's spatula was, or how totally amazingly smart Nabiki-chan was.

When the school day was finally over Ukyo practically ran away after the bell rang saying she needed to go to her restaurant. She did not want anything to do with Ranma anymore until he was better and she was also dreading coming to school tomorrow.

Akane, on the other hand, was walking home wanting to stab her own eardrums so that she wouldn't have to listen to Ranma talk anymore, and her sister was making the situation worse. It seemed 'Megumi' and Nabiki got along perfectly fine and her sister was smiling the entire time as she kept the conversation going. Akane figured her sister was trying to get payback for the whole 'Yoko' incident.

Akane sighed as she entered the household and promptly told Nabiki, and Ranma that she needed to do some homework but mainly it was just to get away from motor mouth. Nabiki quickly told her sister Kasumi, Ranma's new name and she was surprised to see that Kasumi seemed upset that 'Sergeant Sato' wasn't here anymore. But, shrugged it off as nothing as she brought Ranma into the main room to show her to their fathers who were standing in a salute when Ranma entered the room.

Ranma immediately ran over to Genma wrapping him up in a hug as she said, "Daddy I, like, so totally had a wonderful day, like, let me tell you about it…"

Nabiki sat there and watched their fathers for a good thirty minutes and each time Genma and Soun would try to interrupt Ranma she would immediately scream at them and slap them for, like, so totally being rude. Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore and went up to her room barely able to control her laughter.

Ranma told their fathers every detail about her entire day. She talked all the way until Kasumi called saying dinner was ready, then through dinner, and all the way until everyone was about to get ready to go to bed.

Genma and Soun were both slamming their heads on the table in the dining room after Ranma had finally got done talking. They were also very glad when Akane came down and snatched Ranma away.

Genma then turned to his friend and smiled as he said, "look Tendo it's not so bad the schools will be joined soon enough."

Soun raised his head and glared at Genma saying, "I don't know if I want to join the schools anymore Private jelly-belly..."

Akane who had been trying to tell herself that 'Kiyoko' or 'Red Lighting' could come back if she said Ranma's name couldn't take it anymore. She was almost hoping 'Kiyoko' would come back just so she wouldn't have to hear 'Megumi' say another damn word. So, she waited until Ranma was done talking and dragged her into her room. She then said his name twice hoping for anything really, she just didn't care anymore.

When she saw Ranma stop convulsing, stand up, and shake her head she immediately asked, "Who are you tell me your name?" because even if it did turn out to be 'Kiyoko' she could stop her before the situation got out of hand.

Ranma stood up and shook her as she faced Akane, "Huh uhh… it's... Ranko... You know that Akane, and I'm sorry I shouldn't have gotten angry about Ryoga-kun. I promise I won't let a boy ever come between us again."

Akane sighed in relief as she said, "I am so glad your back Ranko." And ran to hug the redhead.

Ranma blinked a few times before speaking, "Oh Akane I never went anywhere..." she paused, "Did I?"

Akane stepped back and shook her head as she said, "No you didn't Ranko it's just umm... you should probably get ready for bed it's really late and you can sleep in my room. Your father is sleeping in the guest room and I know you and him don't get along that well."

Ranma looked saddened and nodded her head as she spoke, "Alright thanks, Akane I think I'm going to go wash up before bed though."

Akane smiled as she said, "Okay Ranko go get washed up and then we can have a little slumber party."

Ranma smiled and giggled as she said, "That's a wonderful idea Akane I'll be right back."

Ranma then left Akane's room in a happy mood as she walked down the hall and into the bathroom. She quickly took off all of her clothes and entered the separating doors into the furo. She then grabbed a bucket and a stool and started cleaning herself making sure to use cold water because she did not want to turn into a boy while she was naked.

When she got done she dried herself off and donned a white bathrobe. She exited the bathroom with a smile on her face as she was practically skipping down the hall and up to Akane's door. When she was about to grab the knob she grimaced when she saw the greasy hand-prints, but forced a smile as she opened the door entered and closed it behind her.

"Akane I know all I have is boy clothes and umm... do you have any clean clothes I could wear to bed?" Ranma asked.

Akane was sitting on her bed already wearing her Pajamas when she said, "Sure Ranko I think I have something that would fit you," as she stood up and went to her closet.

 **To be continued…**

* * *

 **A/N: People seemed to like the weirdness and a Reviewer named Kirbyfan1996 kind of left a suggestion about a cheerleader and this is what ended up happening. I got a valley girl type one who would so, like, totally never shut up. Haha anyway sorry for that and hopefully Megumi won't come back as I'm afraid if I keep writing her I will, like, so totally start talking like her... To be honest she was fun to write though.**

 **-If you have a personality suggestion leave it in a review and I just might use it.-**

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 **Fun Fact: The word "Like" was used 64 times in this chapter. Well, 65 now I guess...**


	5. A Trojan Horse and A Cosmo

Split: Ranma and His Many Face's.

Chapter 5: A Trojan Horse and a Cosmo

 **A/N: I got this Idea slightly from the reviewer RankoFan who wrote the story "Jusenkyo's Blessing."(It's pretty good I mean it doesn't have Sergeants or valley girls but it's alright. Just kidding it's pretty damn good.) That left a suggestion for a Vulcan type of person someone who is cold and emotionless. This chapter also came to me from somewhere else that I will leave at the bottom as to not spoil anything.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

Ranma was standing back watching Akane go through her closest looking for some clothes for her to wear to bed. She then began to slowly wrapped her arms around herself for a second before quickly put them back at her sides as she started thinking, ' _She hugged me and she is getting me clothes. Maybe I miss judged this girl… She is very kind…"_

Ranma was brought out of her thoughts when Akane turned around and handed her some blue pajamas with a smile on her face saying, "Here these should fit you Ranko."

Ranma slowly reached out and took the pajamas making sure not to touch Akane's hand in the process. When Ranma was fully clothed she turned to Akane and forced a smiled as she said, "Thanks, Akane," but the smile quickly faltered as she seen the futon on the ground, "Umm… Akane I'm not sleeping on that, am I?" she said pointing to it.

Akane blinked at Ranma for a second before speaking up, "Uhh, yeah you were going to, but I guess you could have my bed if that makes you more comfortable."

Akane got out of her bed and grabbed an extra blanket then went to lay down on the futon before turning her head to see Ranma standing there just staring at her bed, "What is it Ranko is something wrong?"

Ranma turned around and shook her head, "No nothing is wrong… it's just umm…" Ranma swallowed nervously before asking, "You don't have any clean sheets, pillowcases, and a clean comforter, do you?"

Akane raised an eyebrow as she thought, ' _I never realized Ranko was such a clean freak probably has germaphobia or something… guess that's not such a bad thing considering what some of the others are like…'_ Akane then put on a smile as she said, "Oh, umm sure I guess I can change them for you."

About a ten minutes later Ranma was laying in Akane's clean bed and had never felt so, so well Ranma didn't know the word for it, but she did fall asleep with a slight grin on her face. Akane fell asleep in a lot better mood knowing that 'Ranko' was in control.

When Akane woke up and started blinking her eyes open the first thing she saw was Ranma hovering over her own face blinking at her, "Did you sleep well?" Ranma asked before straightening back up and allowing Akane some breathing room.

"Uhh yeah I did," Akane said then thought, ' _I don't remember Ranko being so weird.'_ as she rose from to a seated position and started rubbing her eyes, "Did you?" she asked.

Ranma went and sat back down on the clean bed, "I slept very well, but I want to apologize."

"For what Ranko?" Akane asked.

Ranma sighed and lowered her head, "First thing is I am not Ranko." She then slipped back into her serious and monotone voice, "I am Kiyoko, but I assure you I do not want to harm you anymore. I feel like I slightly misjudged the situation last time."

Akane immediately grabbed the bokken that she had hidden in her room and faced down Ranma, "Slightly misjudged y-you almost killed me! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't say his name and send you back!?"

Akane almost thought she saw the emotion of sadness play out on Ranma's face before it disappeared just as Ranma turned to her and started speaking, "Do you know what it's like to know that you do not exist. To know that this life isn't really yours. That is my entire life I know it's just a lie and I do not have a right to it, but I still want to live. And, when you say that name in order to send me back you are taking away the small amount of time I actually have to live." There was a paused for a moment before Ranma continued, "All I want is to live just like you do is that too much to ask Akane?"

' _That's a pretty good reason...'_ Akane thought as she lowered her bokken and let out a breath of air before saying, "I will let you stay on one condition. That you don't hurt anybody and I mean anybody. If I see you attack someone I'll send you right back in a heartbeat."

Ranma nodded her head, "On my honor, I will not harm anybody unless someone attacks me first. Is that good enough? I do not want to be defenseless if someone comes and attacks me."

Akane sighed, "I guess," She put her bokken back up then turned to Ranma with a smile, "Well looks like you need to get ready for your first day of school Kiyoko." That smile and those words made 'Kiyoko' have a slight grin the whole time Akane helped her get ready for the day.

It took a while for Ranma to find a clean enough school uniform to wear, and she also wanted to take another bath before she put it on. Soon enough Ranma was coming down the stairs with a slight grin on her face as she went down and sat next to Akane at the table. She saw Nabiki glaring at her but ignored it as she started to fill her bowl with miso soup and grabbed some fish to eat.

Ranma was enjoying her meal before a hand came by and touched one of her fish. She did not allow him to steal it though. She grabbed his filthy hand with an iron grip and locked eyes with him as she spoke, "You touched my food now you will pay!"

She leaped over the table kicked him square in the jaw launching him out into the backyard with a splash. When the panda arose, he shook his head and thought ' _Why did the boy stop holding back?"_ he didn't get to think for long before he saw an expressionless redhead charging him with a bokken.

Several minutes later Ranma came walking into the house and turned to go into the kitchen in order to wash her hands before she came back into the dinning room and said, "Sorry about your bokken," as she sat back down next to Akane with a smile. Then grabbed a new bowl and chopsticks as she started eating again.

Akane looked outside and saw her bokken broken in half laying over a very bloody panda before she got a chance to turn to Ranma and say ask her why she shouldn't send her back Ranma spoke up, "He attacked me first. I didn't kill him I can assure you he will be fine."

Akane huffed before saying, "Fine, but try and hold back next time," before she turned to get a good look at the redhead and asked, "Wow you didn't get an ounce of blood or dirt on your uniform at all how did you do that?"

The redhead looked up and grinned, "I hate being dirty it disgusts me to no end so I try to avoid it at all costs."

After all the excitement was over Akane finally noticed her sister was gone then looked at the time as she said, "Oh no, Kiyoko we need to hurry or we are going to be late." Ranma immediately set her bowl down and grabbed her book bag as she followed Akane out the front door.

After the two girls left Soun instantly ran outside and started holding his old friend exclaiming, "Jelly-belly no Jelly-belly, you can't leave medic we need a medic. Kasumiii!"

"Growf," The panda said before holding up a sign that read, "Don't call me that."

Kasumi came outside clapping her hands, "That was a very nice performance father."

* * *

Akane had got dragged away by the theater club leaving Ranma sitting at her desk alone during lunch. She was sitting there picking at her bento and couldn't for the life of her figure out why everyone was avoiding her like the plaque. This was just when a girl with dark brown hair and a red ribbon tied in it came walking up to her and sat down in a nearby desk saying, "My name is Sayuri, I'm one of Akane's friends." And held out her hand.

Ranma stared at it for a moment before saying, "My name is Kiyoko and I do not wish to be rude but I do not like to have physical contact with people unless it is absolutely necessary."

Sayuri slowly pulled her head back as she said, "Oh, that's umm, okay." Sayuri then took out her bento and unwrapped it before speaking up again, "I was sick yesterday and people were saying not to talk to you because you would never shut up, but you don't seem that bad to me and if your one of Akane's friends then I'll be your friend."

Ranma turned to her and slightly grinned as she spoke, "I would like that." The two girls sat there for a while talking although the conversation was very dull for Sayuri it was very intriguing for Ranma. Sayuri eventually pulled out a little magazine that read "Cosmopolitan" on the top of it and started reading it for a bit. She started to notice Ranma eyeing it for a moment so she figured she would ask, "Would you like to read it?"

Ranma slowly nodded her head as Sayuri handed it to her then Sayuri grabbed another Cosmo from her purse and started reading it as she started talking about the things in the one Ranma was reading. One thing that caught Ranma's attention was when Sayuri said, "Page thirteen has '20 Ways to Get and Keep Your Man's Attention'."

Ranma perked up thinking, ' _Ranma always says Akane is a big tomboy type and that has the word boy in it and boys grow into men. Maybe I can get Akane to like me more by doing these things.'_ She then turned the page to thirteen and started reading it a bit before turning to Sayuri and asking, "May I borrow this?" while she pointed to the page she was reading.

Sayuri smiled as she nodded her head, "Sure, those things work really well that's how I got Hiroshi." Then Sayuri grew a mischievous grin as she leaned in and asked Ranma, "Who is the special guy you're trying to-" She got cut off as the bell rang singling the end of lunch. She then rose and was about to put a hand on Ranma's shoulder but retracted as she remembered that Ranma didn't like to be touched, "Just give it back to me whenever you're done Kiyoko ja ne." She said as she ran to go class.

* * *

Ranma kept her nose in it the rest of the day reading every single detail about how to get and keep your man's attention. One of the first bits of advice it said to do was ' _Maintain careful eye contact. You want to look at your prospective man long enough to show interest, but not so long that they get freaked out. Two or three seconds of a warm glance ought to do the trick!'_

Ranma was sitting at her desk as she turned to look at Akane just as Akane look over and they locked eyes. Ranma sat there and stared at Akane counting silently in her head.

 _One. Two. Three._

Then looked away from Akane and back at her magazine.

Akane blinked at Ranma for a second before the bell rang signaling the end of class and they had a five-minute break. So, she walked over to Ranma and asked her, "Are you feeling okay Kiyoko?"

Ranma looked up and stared at Akane looking her straight in the eye counting silently in her head.

 _One. Two. Three._

Then turned away as she answered, "Yes, I am perfectly fine, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm doing alright I guess, what is that your reading?" Akane asked.

Ranma looked up to Akane and locked eyes counting in her head again.

 _One. Two. Three._

Then turned away as she said, "It is a magazine that your friend Sayuri let me borrow."

Akane looked down at the magazine almost wanting to bust out laughing at the fact that Ranma was sitting in front of her reading a Cosmo, but she kept it under control as she said, "Uh-huh well I hope you enjoy it I know Sayuri is like in love with those things."

Ranma looked up and locked her eyes back with Akane counting in her head.

 _One. Two. Three._

Then turned away before saying, "Yes, she seemed to enjoy them very much from what I inquired and she said they work very well for her."

Akane giggled slightly before saying, "Anyhow have fun Kiyoko, we have a test next period so I'm going to study a bit."

Ranma looked up and locked eyes again counting in her head.

 _One. Two. Three._

Before looking away and saying, "We are having a test over periods? Why would they give us a test over such things?"

Akane busted out laughing before saying, "No, no that's not what I meant. I meant next class period we are having a test and it's a history test."

Ranma looked up and locked eyes counting in her head.

 _One. Two. Three._

Before looking away and saying, "Oh, I see I must have miss heard you. Please do not let me distract you any more than I already have."

When Ranma looked up and saw Akane sitting at her desk reading a history book. She didn't know whether the magazine had given her good advice or not but she did get Akane to laugh, so she counted the small piece of advice and the conversation as a success.

* * *

Ranma then read the next bit of advice as she was sitting in Ucchan's. ' _Be an interested listener. No one likes to think they're boring! Make sure whenever your guy is talking that you listen and listen well. Even if he's waxing eloquent about football stats, ladies you should act amazed!'_

"You should have seen our fathers yesterday morning Ran… our fiancé was dressed as a military officer, and he was making them run through this makeshift mud pit thing with barbed wire over the top of it. Honestly, I don't know where he even bought the barbed wire that early in the morning, but you should have been there it was hilarious seeing both of them crawling through that thing. Oh, and if you really want to get under Genma's skin Ukyo call him Private Jelly-Belly that's what our fiancé named him." Akane said. Ukyo had to lean on the counter top in order to keep from falling on the ground from laughing so hard.

"Why," Ukyo gasped, "Why couldn't I have stopped by yesterday and brought you guys some okonomiyaki sugar I would have loved to have seen that… and a mud pit…" her voice trailed off as she fell almost fell on the ground from laughter.

Ranma had no clue why this story was funny at all. It didn't make any sense to her what so ever. She suspected the image that Ukyo got of her and Akane's fathers running through that mud pit thing and getting screamed at had to be amusing somehow to Ukyo.

Ranma who still didn't understand what was so funny knew what she was supposed to do, "I am utterly amazed," She said then remembered she was supposed to sound amazed not say the words.

Something about what she said though made the situation even more hilarious for Akane and Ukyo as they both broke out into bouts of laughter.

Ukyo said through her laughter, "What? Kiyoko... your so weird sugar... but your a lot better than Magumi..."

As Ranma watched Akane finally fall off of the stool next to her and on the ground laughing uncontrollably, she began to think that this bit of advice worked fairly well.

* * *

Ranma began to remember another bit of advice as she and Akane were walking through the markets getting ingredients for Kasumi. ' _Touch him! Guy's understand touch better than words, girls. So, when you want a guy to take notice, give him little touches along his arm, over his knee or if your even more daring, drape your arm around his shoulder. He'll get the message real quick!'_

Ranma did not like this bit of advice as she did not like touching people at all. In fact, the thought of it made her skin crawl. She wasn't sure if she could do this step, but she was willing to try because she wanted Akane to see her as more of a person and not a Psychopath with germaphobia.

While Akane was leaning down examining some fresh fish from today's catch Ranma leaned down and started running her fingers along Akane's arm. Akane jerked her arm away and looked at Ranma like she was crazy as she said, "What are you doing Kiyoko? I thought you hated touching people?"

Ranma nodded her head and quickly ran over to the nearest trash bin and threw up. When she walked back to Akane she was holding her hands out from herself being careful not to touch anything as she asked, "Do you know where the nearest restroom is I need to wash my hands?"

Akane nodded her head and pointed in the direction. Ranma followed where her finger was pointing and started walking in that direction thinking that this bit of advice was horrible and didn't work at all.

When she returned to Akane with her now clean hands she heard Akane ask her, "Your okay aren't you Kiyoko? I mean you really should learn to get used to touching people."

"Yes, I am fine now," Ranma said, "and I will try and work on it."

Then Ranma began to think maybe this bit of advice wasn't so bad Akane seemed to be worried about her. She figured that had to be a good thing and maybe throwing up a few times just to get Akane to like her better would be worth it. She marked this bit of advice down as a success, but one she would probably not use very often.

* * *

Ranma was sitting in the dojo on a clean towel watching Akane do a kata when the dojo doors flung open and in walk a man claiming to challenge the two heirs of the Anything Goes Dojo. So, Akane and Ranma fought him and easily sent him on his way with his tail between his legs.

After their fight, Ranma remembered another bit of advice, ' _Try to get his attention by spicing up your language. Drop subtle sexual references into your speech. "Trying out a new restaurant is such a turn-on!" or "It's so warm in here! Are you as hot as me?" will both make his mind go places you want it to be!'_

So, Ranma went up to Akane and looked her directly in the eye saying, "Protecting the dojo is such a turn-on."

Akane looked at Ranma with wide eyes before blushing slightly and looked away stammering, "W-w-what?"

Ranma then approached Akane even closer as she tried to use the physical contact again and ran her fingers over Akane's arm saying, "It's so warm in her. Are you as hot as me?" She used all her might to keep her mind off of the fact that she was touching someone else as she was trying to keep her lunch down.

Akane's heart was racing hearing these suggestive things coming from Ranma's mouth so she practically screamed, "I'm going to go take a bath bye Kiyoko!" and ran out of the dojo.

Ranma stared at the retreating image of Akane thinking that the talking thing was bad advice. Akane seemed to be running away from her now. That is not what she wanted her to do at all. She wanted Akane to see her as a person and not a monster maybe even as a friend.

* * *

Akane and Ranma were sitting in an Ice cream shop because Akane knew how much Ranma liked ice-cream and she wanted 'Kiyoko' to experience it as well. That speech 'Kiyoko' made this morning really touched Akane and she could see why 'Kiyoko' would react badly from her saying Ranma's name and sending her back to where ever she came from. So, after they defeated the dojo challenger and after they both bathed Akane offered to take 'Kiyoko' out for ice cream as a treat for their victory.

Ranma was sitting in the booth waiting for her parfait that Akane had ordered for her as she thought about another bit of advice the magazine had said, ' _For a bit of sexy fun, try excusing yourself to the bathroom and slipping off your panties. When you get back to your table, find a way to quietly slide them into his pocket. When he finds them, he'll know exactly how the night is going to end!'_

Ranma had no idea how this exchange would bring Akane closer to her and also found the act of doing this slightly disgusting as she didn't want to be walking around without her undergarments. But, she was willing to put forth the effort and try this because the last bit of advice seemed to put her back a few steps. Akane seemed to be shying away from her now and she didn't like that.

Ranma then began to get up and turned towards the restroom before hearing Akane ask her, "Where are you going?" she turned around to see Akane looking at her with worry and she figured the step must already be working.

"I am going to the restroom… I need to relieve myself." She said. She didn't like lying to Akane anymore, but this was supposed to be some sort of discreet gift she was giving her so she figured it was worth it.

"Oh, okay hurry back our parfaits should be here any minute and I know you'll like the one I ordered for you it's one of Ran… I mean my fiancé's favorites."

Ranma nodded her head and headed into the restroom making sure not to touch anything as best as she could. She then grabbed a few paper towels before using them to open one of the stalls as she walked in locking it behind her. She was wearing the same white dress that she wore the other day because she saw that Kasumi had just got done washing and drying it after they beat their challenger to the dojo so she knew it was clean.

She slowly hiked up her dress, pulled down her panties, and took them off. She then folded them neatly while using one of the paper towels to unlock and open the door. She walked over to the sink and grabbed some new paper towels to lay her panties on. Then washed and dried her hands thoroughly before grabbing her panties with another paper towel and using a different paper towel to open the door before throwing it away as she exited the restroom.

When she got back to the table she discreetly used Ranma's chestnut's roasting on an open fire technique to get the panties inside one of Akane's jean pockets as she walked back and sat back down across from Akane.

The parfaits arrived just a few moments later and 'Kiyoko' was in heaven from the first bite she took. It was extraordinary to her and she couldn't believe how good it was. Akane could only stare in wonder as she watched 'Kiyoko' destroy the parfait almost quicker than Ranma normally did and it didn't take her long at all to finish it. She then looked up to Akane with a big goofy grin on her face as she said, "Wow I don't think I have ever tasted something so, so, so wonderful."

Akane nodded her head as she took her first bite, "Yeah that's one of his favorites I knew you would enjoy it but you have a little." Akane took her napkin and leaned over the table to wipe off some ice cream on Ranma's face.

Ranma got wide-eyed as she saw Akane leaning over at first but allowed Akane to wipe the small amount of liquid off of her face. She figured this step must be working really well even if Akane hasn't found her gift yet.

Soon Akane was done with her parfait and the waiter came and handed her the bill and walked off to help another customer. She then reached into her pocket to pull out some yen in order to pay for their frozen treats, but she got confused when she felt some fabric in her hand. She then pulled it out and exclaimed, "What the… how did these get in my pocket."

Ranma who had been waiting for Akane to find them smiled as she said, "I hope you enjoy your gift."

Akane looked up at Ranma like she was crazy as she asked, "Huh… you put these in my pocket? W-why?"

"So that you know how tonight is going to end." Ranma said a little bit confused as to the reaction she was getting from Akane. The plan had been working quite well so far she didn't understand why Akane was acting this way now.

A thousand different images went through Akane's mind when Ranma said that, but before she got to scream PERVERT and send 'Kiyoko' sailing into the sky she saw Ranma lay the Cosmo in front of her and point a certain step saying, "I was sure this step would work it said that it was the most effective one."

Akane read the top of the page saying '20 Ways to Get and Keep Your Man's Attention' then read the step Ranma was pointing to and blushed. She then looked Ranma straight in the eye asking her, "Kiyoko you do realize that I am not a man right?" she figured she needed to ask as 'Kiyoko' seemed to be a bit strange.

Ranma nodded her head, "Of course, but Ranma said you were a tomboy and that had the word boy in it and boys turn into men so I just thought these would work on you."

Akane swallowed a nervous lump in her throat before asking, "Kiyoko do you umm… do you love me?" she didn't know why her own heart was racing like a wild horse.

Ranma blinked at Akane and titled her head to the side as she spoke, "Love you… I do not know what love is. I just wanted you to see me as more of a person, not a psychopathic germaphobe. I wanted to get and keep your attention as the article says."

Akane didn't know why she felt a little disappointed and pleased with that answer so all she answered with was, "Oh," then about a few minutes later she noticed Ranma was staring at her and she was still holding Ranma's panties. So, she handed Ranma her panties back and watched as Ranma grabbed a napkin before she took back her panties.

Akane then said, "Well uhh… thanks, I definitely don't see you as a psychopath anymore, but you are still a germaphobe." She finished with a smile.

Ranma nodded head and smiled as she said, "Thank you, now if you don't mind I would like to go put these back on." She then stood up and entered the bathroom leaving a very confused Akane sitting at the table thinking, ' _Does 'Kiyoko' even know what the Cosmo meant by how tonight is going to end... I think it's better if I just assume she doesn't.'_

Ranma came back a moment later with her undergarments back on and just as she walked by a table with two boys sitting at it. She heard one of them say, "I wonder where Ranma has been off to these past few days?" Then the other one said, "Ahh you know him man Ranma's probably off plowing one of his many fiancées."

Both boys could only watch as the redhead fell to the ground. They both were blinking at her for a moment and could only stare in confusion as she stood up rubbing her head. Then one boy with lighter hair asked, "Umm, oh wait you're that new girl Megumi. Are you alright?"

Ranma turned to him and grew a mischievous smile before saying, "My dear Hiroshi if you want to know that it's going to cost you 500 yen." as she held out her hand.

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **A/N: I don't know if anyone reads Supernatural Fanfiction, but I came across one called "How to Romance a Human" by (Cloudyjenn.) and ever since I have read that story I have wanted to somehow use its plot in a Ranma Fanfiction. And, when RankoFan left the suggestion about a Vulcan type I knew I already had one kind of with Kiyoko as she is a cold, logical, and a slightly emotionless being. This was also a great way to humanize her and see her in a new light. Also, This story can go anywhere I want it to and I already know the ending so pretty much it's just how many personalities I can I come up with until I return Ranma to normal.**

* * *

 **-If you have a personality suggestion leave it in a review and I just might use it.-**


	6. The Bet

Split: Ranma and His Many Face's.

Chapter 6: The Bet

 **-Warning kind of citrusy but I swear it's all in your imagination-**

 **A/N: First I would like to say that a portion of what is written is taken/rewritten from a one-shot story I found floating online. I tried looking for it on this website and could not find it for the life of me. It is such a good little funny story that I decided I would kind of steal a portion of it so that others could enjoy it. I will leave the authors name and the name of the story in the author notes at the end just in case anybody has already read that story as to not spoil anything. Second, I did go back and rewrite the last chapter some. Added some dialogue, changed some dialogue, and edited some text a bit. The chapter is still the same and it still ends the same but it is slightly different if anyone wants to go back and reread it.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

Ranma was looking down at the lighter-browned haired boy for a while as he seemed to be speechless, "Are you going to pay me or not?"

Hiroshi was blinking at her not knowing what to do but she seemed so much like Nabiki out of instinct he took out his wallet and put five-hundred-yen in her hand and heard her say, "Thanks," then she seemed to flip through it making sure it was all there, "Ahh, and I am fine by the way Ja ne." she said as she turned on her heal leaving Hiroshi and Daisuke staring at her wondering what just happened as she walked off.

Akane was sitting at her table wondering what was taking 'Kiyoko' so long to get back from the bathroom to put her panties back on. This was just when Ranma came and sat down in front of her as she leaned on the table putting her chin in her hands looking Akane straight in the eye.

Akane looked at Ranma in confusion because 'Kiyoko' seemed so much more relaxed than before, but she shrugged it off as nothing. 'Kiyoko' to her was a very strange girl in her mind and she wanted to know something so she asked Ranma, "Umm, Kiyoko I have been meaning to ask you why do all of you say Ran… my fiancé says this or that? Are you talking to him somehow?"

Ranma grinned as she tilted her head to the side saying, "Hmm, my name is Riko, and if you want to know any more information than it will cost you," Ranma paused putting a finger to her chin as she looked up at the ceiling then back to Akane as she said, "how about 600 yen? A girl can't give all of her secrets away for free you know."

Akane's eyebrow was twitching as she thought, ' _ugh Ranma changed again and who the hell does she think she is Nabiki?'_ she calmed down her nerves and said through her teeth, "Look I just bought you a parfait and if you don't tell me all I have to do is say his name and I'll get to ask someone else."

Ranma narrowed her eyes at Akane but slowly grew into a smile as she brought up her hands to her ears then plugged her ears as she said, "Go ahead now it won't work… although," she started laughing a little before removing her hands saying, "I would look quite silly walking around like that wouldn't I."

Ranma sighed, "Fine, I don't know what it's like with the others, but when I remember you it's almost like I am seeing you from someone else's viewpoint. Hmm… how can I say it... kind of like when you look at a bouquet of flowers and think 'oh those look pretty' in your head whereas someone else would think 'just a waste of money.' That's how it is for me when I remember things about you or anybody else. It's like I hear what Ranma thought and said from his perspective when it happened, and to answer your last question no I have never spoken to him before."

There was a pause for a moment while Akane thought about that, but Ranma was getting bored so she asked, "Anything else you would like to know?"

Akane seemed to think for a minute before asking, "Yes, how did Kiyoko know about Ranko and Ryoga, but didn't know anything about Megumi at school?"

Ranma started rolling her fingers on the table before saying, "Well, this is my first time here so I can only presume to know what it's like, but I can only remember everything up until the point you pulled Megumi into your room. So, I am just guessing here but I assume when we change to the next personality we can't remember what the last one experienced. Now, can we go leave this place it is very boring…"

"Sure, I guess…" Akane said a little disappointed she was starting to like 'Kiyoko' and was actually a little bit sad that she was gone as 'Kiyoko' had actually started to grow on her. She might even say she liked her just as much as she liked 'Ranko' now... maybe even more.

Right, when Akane and Ranma entered the Tendo's household Ranma ran upstairs saying she had business to attend to leaving Akane downstairs rolling her eyes wondering what 'Riko' was up to. Ranma ran all the way upstairs and knocked on Nabiki's door.

Nabiki was in her room sitting at her desk going over her ledgers for the month trying to find some way to make more yen. It was her goal every month to try and make a little more profit each and every month and it didn't matter how small and insignificant it was. Even if it was one yen it would be worth it in her mind. This was right when she heard someone knocking on her door. She got up, walked over, and slung the door open and who she saw put a scowl on her face as she said, "What do you want Kiyoko?"

Ranma ran her fingers across Nabiki's cheek before saying, "My, my is that any way to talk to a customer?"

Nabiki blinked at the physical contact for a second before composing herself and asking, "You're not Kiyoko, are you?" she then thought, ' _Her eyes have a deep shade of green in them, and Yoko's were mixed… I wonder if this happens when Ranma changes..."_

"Nope the name is Riko," Ranma said before asking, "May I come in? We have business to discuss."

Nabiki moved out of the doorway and waved Ranma inside as she said, "Sure what can I help you with Riko-chan?"

Ranma went over and sat down at Nabiki's desk as she started shuffling through Nabiki's ledger before saying, "Oh, looks like photo sales are down this month what a shame."

Nabiki quirked an eyebrow up as she walked over and sat on her bed as it seemed 'Riko' took her seat, "You can actually read that?"

Ranma nodded her head, "Yes, yes I can," she said as she flipped to another page and said, "Ahh, this is what I was looking for." as she ripped out the page and handed it to Nabiki.

Nabiki wanted to scream at the redhead for ripping that page out, but hid it under her Ice Queen façade as she started looking at the paper, "Huh, what do you want with all of Ran… his debts?" she asked as she looked back up at the redhead who was smiling at her.

"As you can see I am a piece of Ranma," she waved down to herself, "and his debts are also my debts... and I do not like having any debts. I also know that you like to take bets so how about we make one. Let's say if I win that all of Ranma's debts are cleared."

"He owes me over 60,000 yen," she paused as she thought on this for a moment and this could help her this month from being behind on the photo sales so she asked, "What do I get out of it if I win and what kind of bet are we talking about?"

"How about you can double his debt if I lose, and I'll let you pick the challenge so it's fair." Ranma said with a smirk.

Nabiki smiled as she said, "Oh, I know just the thing…"

* * *

A few minutes later Ranma was knocking on Happosai's door. The old master jumped down from his pile of woman's undergarments and opened his door. What he saw there made him smile as she pulled out his pipe and took a few puffs off of it before saying, "My, my girly it seems like you really have become accustom to your female form here lately. It warms this old mans heart. Now, what can I do you for young lad?"

Ranma smiled as she stepped over the old man and started shuffling through his pile of undergarments and woman's clothing she then turned and said, "I need some clothes to wear." She rolled her eyes when the Happosai started bawling his eyes out saying how happy he was that she had finally come around and was going to model for him. She quickly straightened him out though as she told him her plan. At first, he was hesitant until he actually started listening then he was completely into it. He even got to help Ranma pick out a good outfit for her to wear for what ever she was doing.

Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, Soun, Genma, and Happosai were all sitting in the dining room eating dinner this was when Akane looked around and asked, "Where's Riko?"

Happosai cackled as he said, "Oh the girly has a surprise for us all." He began to cackle even harder before calming down enough to say, "Oh, I can't wait it's like a dream come true…" he trailed off as his eyes glazed over.

"A dream come true…" Nabiki mumbled before realization hit her that Ranma was going to do the bet now and she dropped her chopsticks.

Akane turned to look at her sister before asking, "Do you know what's going on sis?"

Soun and Genma both looked at each other before turning to look at Nabiki as they wanted to know who this 'Riko' girl was and what was making the master so happy. But, just as Nabiki opened her mouth to speak.

They all heard the blare of a stereo system upstairs that startled them all, then the strains of a brassy, jazzy tune echoed down the hallway. After the introductory passage seemed to end a redhead slid down the staircase railing. She landed with her hands cocked on her hips and her head lowered with a come-hither look that would raise any males blood pressure through the roof.

"I've… got… a… yeeeeen fo-or youuuu…" Brushes and bass accompanied her slow stalk around the room. "Baa-byy." A horn-section filler punched the air, and she kicked her leg straight up as high as she could. The blouse and stretched mini-skirt combination she wore was black with red lacy trim as well as being very, very tight.

"Do youuuuu hava yeeeeen fo-or meeeee…." Her shoulders worked back and forth, moving her breasts to and fro. "Baa-byy…" Another horn punch sound, another kick, and she moved one of her hands to the top button that ran up the length of her entire blouse.

"You knooow you won't deny it…" She stopped directly behind Akane, who was frozen with her mouth agape, but she jumped when Ranma's face seemed to appear directly in front of hers upside down.

"I hope you won't deny it…" She leaned in close and kissed the tip of Akane's nose. "Baaaaaabyyyyy!"

The short instrument section was accompanied by dancing around the table, and a button coming undone with each cadence in the music. Happosai clapped his hands together, hooting, whistling, and calling out as he egged on the performance. Soun was slack-jawed. Genma was slack-jawed. Nabiki looked pissed. Akane was left stunned as she thought, ' _she… kissed me… Right in front of daddy and her father!'_ Kasumi was hiding her grinning smile behind her hand.

"Oh, I've got so much to giiiive!" five buttons were gone from her blouse now as she started running one of her hands over her breast right in front of Soun's face. His eyes went wide as he quickly got a nosebleed then passed out.

"I only want to liiiive…" she skipped her father and ran a finger down the old master's cheek, whose eyes were staring with only lecherous intent, but he had no intention of stopping Ranma's show he wanted to see it to the end.

"…The high life… with yoooouuu…" She danced over and snuggled up to Kasumi who eeped and giggled as she ran a finger along Kasumi's cheek and under her chin.

"Oh, MYYY!" A smiling Kasumi exclaimed.

"…The high life… wi-ith yoooouuuu…" She ran her hand down Nabiki's back all the way until she pinched Nabiki's bottom. Which made Nabiki jump and glare daggers at the redhead.

"… wi-ith yooouuuuuu…" she curled up into Nabiki's lap for a second before moving on which made Nabiki's whole face start to contort and twitch with anger.

The music paused. "I've… got… a yeeeen fo-or youuuu…" she shucked off her blouse, leaving her in only her black-lace bra, and pressed her front against Akane's back. "Baaa-byyy!" Akane's eye's bulged.

"Do youuu hava yeeeen fo-or meeeeeee…." She ran her hands down Akane's arms and back up her sides, avoiding any sensitive areas. "Baaa-byyy!" Akane couldn't help shiver anyway.

Ranma twirled around once, her skirt flying through the air to land on a catatonic Soun's head, leaving her in only her very tiny black lace panties that the old master was more than happy to supply her with.

"Don't need to buy it!" Akane's plate slid to one side, and Ranma seated herself in front of her.

"Only gotta try it!" Ranma scooted forwards and landed in Akane's lap as she locked her ankles behind her back. "Baaaa-byyyy!"

"Oh, they say love is the peeerfect food…"

Ranma leaned forwards and started to nibble on Akane's neck.

"Well, I think that's fine and gooood!"

A lick went from Akane's collarbone to her ear, digging in a little.

"If you're hungry, you should really shouuuuld,"

Ranma reached back and plopped a dollop of rice in her own cleavage.

"Feast as if you wouuuuuld."

She pulled Akane's face forwards and into her own rice filled cleavage.

"Try it! Uh!" She thrusted her chest forwards pushing Akane even closer, while Akane fanned her arms.

"Buy it! Uh!" She thrusted forwards again and Akane seemed to throw her arms down in defeat.

"BAAAA-BYYYYY!" She gently pushed Akane out at arm's length and kissed her once on the last note of the song.

"I've… got… a… yeeeen fo-or youuu…"

Ranma used her delicate lips to pick the rice off of Akane's face.

"Do youuu hava yeeeen fo-or meeeeee…"

Ranma then removed some of the rice from her cleavage and placed it in Akane's mouth. She then began to sing softly, "You know you can't deny it…" as she reached around and placed her hands on Akane's rear.

Then she sang even softer, "You know you can't deny it…" as she pressed her breasts into Akane's as rice began to fly out of her own from the pressure. Then she whispered, "Baby..." right before she kissed Akane right on the lips just as a loud horn ended the song. Akane wavered as she looked wide-eyed at the scantily clad Ranma who was battering her eyelashes as she said breathlessly, with her voice dropping halfway through the word, "Hiii-iii…" and she thrust out her chest, "Uh!"

The blue haired Tendo girl then keeled over as a fountain of blood started shooting from her nose.

There was silence for a few seconds before Ranma turned to Nabiki and said, "Looks like you lose Nabiki I made her nose bleed." She stood up and grabbed her skirt off of Soun's head.

"Now, that my show is over it's time to eat." She said as she put back on her skirt then walked over and put her blouse back on.

Nabiki scowled at Ranma saying, "I'm charging you five-thousand-yen for using my stereo." as the redhead sat down and started eating like nothing had happened. Genma looked down at the rice that had been flung on his plate and suddenly didn't feel hungry for the first time in a long time right before he fainted. Happosai had a smile plastered on his face and a gleam in his lecherous eyes that seemed to be staring out at something that was no longer there.

Ranma turned to Nabiki and said, "Fine with me I was expecting you to say ten-thousand, so you can just give me back half of what I laid on-top of it." Then went back to eating ignoring the death glare she was getting from Nabiki.

Kasumi clapped her hands together as she said, "That was a very nice show Riko-chan."

Ranma turned her head and wiped her mouth before saying, "Thank you, although it was a little more perverse than what I was going for but it got the job done none the less." And went back to eating.

Akane awoke a few minutes later and rubbed her head as she said, "I had the weirdest dream Ranma was all dressed up…" her voice trailed off as her eyes laid on the redhead who almost collapsed on top of and was still wearing the very provocative clothing.

Akane instantly became blind with rage and picked up the table throwing all the food off of it exclaiming, "RANMA! You PERVERT!" just as she hit Ranma right over the head with it then huffed as she sat back down.

Nabiki grinned evily as she said, "Good, I didn't like her very much anyways."

Akane then turned to her sister about to ask her what she was talking about right before she realized what she had done, and said redhead shot up rubbing her head.

"What didja' do that for ya stupid un-cute tomboy what are ya tryin ta give me a concussion or somethin!" Ranma said as she was rubbing her head.

Akane practically flung herself at Ranma saying, "Ranma I'm so glad your back!" She felt Ranma go slack in her arms for a second before she got shoved away hard.

The redhead glared at her saying, "My name ain't Ranma it's Ranka and I don't wanna hear that name again ya got it!" The redhead then looked down at herself and gasped, "w-what the hell am I wearing!?"

 **To Be Continued…**

* * *

 **A/N: A good portion of the song and dance skit was from a story called "Burlesque" written by Sinom Bre. I did change a good portion of it and If you want to read the original all you have to do is type "female Ranma fanfiction" into google and scroll down until you get to the website called Bookmice. (Or look for [Ranma-chan and Ranko fiction – Bookmice] As the title for the website.) The story can be found there.**

 **Fun Fact: Riko means "Reason or logic child."**

 **-Leave a personality suggestion in a review and I'll most likely use it.-**


	7. I Have No Name

Split: Ranma and His Many Face's.

Chapter 7: I Have No Name

 **A/N: There isn't very much comedy in this chapter sorry for that, but I needed this chapter to set some stuff up for the future... So, yeah. Still, I hope you all enjoy it though.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

Ranma couldn't believe what she was wearing as she was looking down at herself. Who the hell's idea was it to get her dressed up in this getup anyway? She only knew of one person who would want to do it as she turned her head to see that person smirking at her, "What the hell Nabiki!? What ya get the tomboy here ta knock me over the head then ya dress me up as some sorta stripper?" she yelled as she stomped her foot.

Nabiki quirked up an eyebrow at this declaration. This Ranma seemed to be a lot like the actual Ranma as far as she could tell and she knew how to work him… er, her, "Nope you dressed yourself up in that. Isn't that right old man?" Nabiki said then turned her attention to Happosai who she noticed was still lost in his own world of happiness, so she picked up her tea and threw it at the old master hitting him in the head.

"Owe," Happosai said as he rubbed his head then turned to glare at Nabiki, "why would you hit an old man that's not right I say it's not right."

Nabiki rolled her eyes as she asked, "As I was saying Ran…ka dressed herself up in that getup as she so called it didn't she old man?"

Happosai nodded his head ferociously, "Yes, yes it warmed this old man's heart now why don't you give me a little sugar baby hitcha!" he exclaimed as he bounded from his seat and latched onto Ranma's chest.

A chill ran up her spine as she felt him feeling her up and she didn't know what to do so she started running around the room screaming, "Help! Get em off me, get em off me, get me off me!"

Akane was fuming from being called tomboy, and she didn't know why Ranma didn't just punch the old pervert like she always does. But, she hated perverts that was one thing that she couldn't stand, so eventually, she stood up and grabbed the old pervert off of Ranma.

Once Ranma was saved she ran behind Akane and poked her head out glaring at the old lecher and watched him squirm as Akane held him out at arm's length, "That's no fair, that's no fair... let me go, let me go, I say."

Akane smiled as she did as she was asked and let him go only to punt him like a football out into the backyard and send him sailing through the sky. Hopefully, not to be seen for a few days. She then turned to the redhead who was staring at her with tears in her eyes.

Ranma sniffled as she said, "Thanks, Kane' I didn't know what ta do."

"Why didn't you knock him off like you always do?" Akane asked.

Ranma wiped her watery eyes before looking up at Akane in confusion, "Cause he's an elder Kane' it's wrong ta hit em duh."

Akane blinked at Ranma, "But h-he was molesting you," She paused, "what if he had gone any further what would you have done then?"

Ranma huffed as she crossed her arms, "I would 'a screamed rape what are ya stupid or somethin'?" she said as if that would solve the issue.

Akane's eyes bulged out, "Th-that wouldn't stop anything," she took a deep breath as she had to calm herself and tell herself that this wasn't really Ranma this was just another personality so she continued, "let me get this straight it's wrong to hit your elders, but you can call me names?"

Ranma raised her hand up to her head and started scratching it as she said, "Ya know when ya say it like that it sounds stupid, but that's pretty much how it is." She paused, "but, hey thanks for getting him offa me." She said as she turned on her heal and started walking away.

"Wait where are you going?" Akane asked.

Ranma turned around and looked at Akane like she just asked the dumbest question in the world. Then waved down to herself showcasing her clothing, "Well, I ain't gonna prance around here and give ya a show if that what ya were wantin'," she turned and took a few steps up the stairs before turning around and adding, "Ya pervert."

Akane's eyebrow was twitching as she huffed and sat down next to her sister, "How dare she call me a pervert."

"Well, you did just have a nosebleed from looking at another girl," Nabiki smirked, "I would say that makes you quite the pervert my dear little sister. Hmm, would you like to start buying pictures of female Ranma from me, sis?"

Akane's mouth dropped open as she turned to face her sister and saw her have an evil smile on her face, "I am not like that... it-it was only b-because it was Ranma."

"Oh, so you finally admit it you do love him," Nabiki said.

"I am so glad you finally admitted your feeling Akane-chan," Kasumi said

Akane turned to face her two smiling sisters with a blush across her face, but she quickly made it retreat as she exclaimed, "As if I would ever love that pervert," and rose to her feet as she added, "I'm going to bed you can tell Ran _ka_ she's welcome when she comes back down."

Akane made it to the top step of the staircase before she heard a loud masculine scream coming from the furo. She immediately ran in out of instinct and flung the door open. Only to see male Ranma sitting in the furo looking down at himself gasping for air. She was glad that there was already some bubbles in the water so she wasn't getting a show as she approached him and put a hand on his shoulder and asked, "What's wrong?"

Ranma turned and stared at her with tears in his eyes as he said, "Wh-what's wrong… how haven't ya noticed I'm a freaken boy… I-I don't wanna be a boy… wh-what am I gonna do?"

Akane smacked her forehead as she had already pretty much been through this with Ranko and now she was having to go through this again. She couldn't help but ask herself how many more times was she going to have to explain the situation to one of Ranma's many personalities.

She then walked over and pulled out a fresh white towel and handed it to Ranma saying, "Here get up and cover yourself. I don't want to see anything." As she looked away with one arm outstretched holding the towel.

Ranma quickly snatched the towel and wrapped it around his torso, "Okay, Kane' I'm decent! Now help me I don't wanna be a boy! Please tell me ya got somethin' that can change me back!" he pleaded.

Akane nodded her head as she walked over and picked up a bucket. She filled it with cold water then tossed it over Ranma's head.

Ranma gasped and glared at Akane as she said, "What didj'a do that for that was cold…" she trailed off as she grabbed her throat then looked down and noticed she was a girl again.

She quickly ran over and hugged Akane as she said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you,"

Akane patted Ranma on the back as she said, "Uh-huh, you have a curse Ran…ka when you touch hot water you turn into a boy and when you touch cold water you turn into a girl,"

Ranma then started bawling her eyes out on Akane's shoulder as she said through half choked sobs, "I… don… wanna… be…. a … boy…"

' _Oh brother… this is just like Ranko all over again…'_ Akane sighed as she patted Ranma's back and said, "look it's not so bad all you have to do it avoid hot water and you can stay a girl."

Ranma nodded her head and gently broke away from Akane and sniffled as she wiped her nose, "I-I guess so… wait have I always had this curse?" she asked confused.

Akane looked at 'Ranka' hoping maybe Ranma was coming back this personality did talk like him, acted kind of like him, and even taunted her just like him, so, she bit her lip as she said, "Uhh… yeah ever since I've known you, you, have."

"Huh…" Ranma started scratching her head then shrugged her shoulders as she said, "Well, guess I forgot about it or somethin'. Hey, thanks for, reminding me and stuff."

Akane shook her head it seemed 'Ranka' was an idiot, she said, "Baka" under her breath before turning around and saying, "Sure, see you in the morning Ranka, have a good night."

"Sure goodnight Kane'," Ranma said as she dried off, grabbed a bathrobe, and walked down the hall. When she opened the door to the guest room she made a beeline for her dresser and quickly looked inside as she saw only boy's clothes. But, she figured if she was cursed to turn into a boy, and if she changed while she was wearing girl's clothes that would make her seem like some sort of pervert. So, she grabbed a pair of boxers and a muscle shirt then put them on.

Ranma was just about to lay down on her futon and go to sleep before she looked around and said to herself, "Where Pop's at?"

She looked all around the room searching for him everywhere and couldn't find him for the life of her. She looked under the futons, in every dresser drawer, and even under some of the floorboards. She then plopped on her futon and started scratching her head as she grumbled to herself, "That stupid old man where could he be…" just as the door open and in walked Genma with a confused look on his face.

Ranma immediately ran over and gave him a hug as she said, "Where were ya I was lookin' all over fer ya?"

Genma would have usually beat his child for acting so caring towards him, but this was the most normal he had seen his child act in day's so he shrugged it off as he said, "I was in the dining room… I had the craziest dream…" He paused, "anyway I'm going to bed." As she gently removed Ranma from him and walked over to his futon to lay down.

Ranma sat there and watched her father almost instantly land on the futon as he fall asleep snoring. She smiled as she walked over and brought her futon closer to his and laid down snuggled up next to him as she whispered, "Normally I wouldn't do this but I just found out that I can turn into a boy so I hope ya won't mind… I love ya Pop's." she then pecked him on the cheek the way a child kisses their own parents, or the way they greet people in France, or something right before she rolled over and fell asleep herself.

* * *

Genma was woken up by the smells of eggs, fish, and sausage. He smacked his mouth open a few times before opening his eyes and seeing Ranma sitting in front of him wearing her red Chinese shirt and black pants holding a tray of breakfast food out for him. Genma blinked a few times before asking, "What's this for boy?"

Ranma smiled as she said, "You slept in kinda late so I saved ya some breakfast I figured you'd be hungry so I brought it up fer ya." She then laid the tray in front of him as she rose slightly then leaned over to peck him on the cheek before saying, "I'm off ta school love ya Pop's c'ya later." As she grabbed her book bag and exited the room leaving a very confused Genma with a smorgasbord of food laid out in front of him.

Genma rubbed his cheek for a second then eyed the food cautiously as his son had never been so nice, ' _He probably poisoned it or got Akane to make it...'_ He thought before slowly breaking apart the chopsticks then ever so slowly brought a piece of fish up to his nose as he smelled it, ' _smells fine…'_ he thought right before took a bite and didn't taste anything wrong with it.

So, he dug in devouring the whole thing as he laid there and said to himself, "Hell, if the boy wants to do this every morning who am I to stop em. It's a lot better than him making me run through hell…" he shivered as he remembered that strange morning and he preferred this one.

When Ranma and Akane walked through the gates of Furinkan High they were immediately stopped by the crazy Kendoist as he proclaimed, "Ahh, it is true the beautiful flower that is my pig-tailed girl has decided to bless these halls of learning with her beauty," He ran up and took Ranma's hand, "Let me escort you safely around campus then I will allow you to date with me."

Ranma blushed as she turned away and said, "K-kuno-senpai… d-do you really m-mean that?"

Kuno was cheering on the inside as in his own mind he had finally broken the spell that the foul sorcerer had put on his darling pig-tailed girl. He didn't get to cheer for long though as a mallet quickly sent him flying across Nerima.

Shampoo was confused, she was going to bring her Airen some ramen and maybe get a date, but just as she got to the school she saw Ranma flirting with that bokken-boy right before violent-girl sent him flying and now her Arien and violent-girl were arguing over that stupid bokken-boy.

So, she slowly rode her bike up to the two girls, "What wrong with Airen?" she asked glaring at Akane, "What Pervert-girl do make Airen gay?"

Akane froze she did not want the Amazons knowing about Ranma's condition what so ever. That was just asking for them to try some sort of underhanded trick in order to keep Ranma as some sort of breeding stud of some sort, so she waved her hands defensively before throwing a hand over Ranma's mouth so she couldn't protest as she said, "Wrong nothing is wrong with him," she paused, "right," she asked as she made Ranma's head bob up and down while the redhead was glaring daggers at her.

That seemed to be enough for Shampoo so she said, "It's okay Airen me turn you back to boy-type then you take Shampoo on date, yes?" she then took out a bowl of ramen and dumped it on top of Ranma changing her into him.

Luckily all of the students had diverted their attention away from the courtyard after Kuno had gotten sent flying away so they didn't witness the change, but the ex-redhead was freaking out as she broke out of Akane's grasp and started running away from the two girls trying to find some cold water.

he was stopped in her tracks as a man in white robes seemed to throw down a volley of chains exclaiming, "Saotome, how dare you try to steal my darling Shampoo! Prepare to die!"

Said ex-redhead then screamed, "Help me somebody help!" as he dropped to the ground and curled into a ball. Upon seeing this Mousse knew something was wrong with his rival for Shampoo's heart, and he didn't want to actually kill him so he yanked on his chains making them barely miss their mark at the last second.

Mousse then walked over and looked down at Ranma who was bawling his eyes out saying, "Please don't hurt me Mousse, I'm sorry fer whatever I did…"

Mousse looked down at Ranma in confusion as he kneeled down and he asked, "What's wrong with you Ranma?" Then could only stare in astonishment as Ranma began convulsing on the ground.

Ranma then rose a moment later and looked Mousse dead in the eye as he cracked his knuckles and then popped his neck, "Oh, this is _gonna_ be fun," he said with an evil grin just silently enough for Mousse to hear him.

Mousse couldn't help himself as he took a few steps back by the way Ranma was looking at him. Then Ranma slowly started stalking towards him, and he could swear that Ranma's usual cobalt blue eyes looked nearly black. He didn't have time to think for long though as he felt a hand wrap around his throat as he got lifted off of the ground.

Mousse was choking for air as he felt Ranma reach into his sleeve and pull something out. He didn't know what it was until he was slammed against the ground hard with Ranma holding the sharp metal object in his mouth. He heard Ranma laugh like a maniac for a second or two before saying, "Why don't you _smile_? Maybe Shampoo would… Oh, I don't know," Ranma smacked his lips a few times before continuing, "actually find you attractive if you had a grin on your face,"

He paused for a second as he laughed then continued, "Why don't we find out shall we?" he waited for Mousse to answer, but when he didn't he grinned as he said, "I think I'll take that as a yes!" he then started to laugh like a maniac right as the blade started to sink into the crevice of Mousse's mouth just a bit.

Mousse didn't know what the hell was happening and he tried struggling to fight it as he felt the blade starting to sink into the crevice of his mouth. Luckily, he heard Akane come running over and screamed Ranma's name. Which made Ranma immediately release him and fall over to the ground.

Mousse instantly jolted up and got into a fighting stance. He let Ranma catch him off guard once with acting like he was scared and crying, and he wasn't going to let him do it again.

Akane ran over with Shampoo on her heels as they both were staring at Ranma as he rose and cocked his head to the side while clapping his hands, "Good show, good show… I am working on something to stop that from working though…"

Akane swallowed as she asked, "W-what's your name?"

Shampoo, and Mousse instantly turned to look at Akane like she was stupid, but before shampoo could say 'what pervert-girl talking about that Airen.' Ranma was directly in front of Akane grinning as he said, "I have no name… that's what makes me so _special…"_

Ranma the smacked his lips as he turned to face Shampoo, "Won't you be so kind as to take your duck boy and leave… I might give you a date if you do?"

Shampoo blinked at Ranma, when she had arrived she had thought pervert-girl had turned Ranma gay but now he was going to date her. She thought about that Mousse thing but shrugged it off as nothing because she didn't like Mousse very much anyways, and her future husband could harm him any way he wanted to as far as she was concerned.

Shampoo smiled as she nodded her head, she pulled out a water bottle, and tossed it onto Mousse turning him into a duck then placed him under her arm as she got onto her bike, "Okay, Airen me be back you take on date, yes?" she asked, then seen him nod his head, so she peddled off back to the restaurant.

Ranma then turned his attention back to Akane, "I know your gonna say Ranma so go ahead, but I will be back, and when I do you won't be able to stop me."

Akane was left stunned from the way Ranma was talking, "Why did you let Mousse and Shampoo go?" she asked, not really understanding why herself she didn't know why he would go from trying to slice Mousse's mouth open to letting the poor boy go.

Ranma chuckled as he said, "You think I want them to know about this _problem_ I'm having? Cologne would have a field day with me in this state," he then paused as he got up into Akane's face just mere inches from her as he whispered, "Now, say the damn name already."

"Ranma…" Akane said as she watched Ranma fall to the ground. When he rose a second later she instantly asked, "Tell me, tell me what your name is right now!"

Ranma turned to her and put his hand up in a salute, "The name is Sgt. Sato ma'am reporting for duty."

Akane was sighing in relief because she knew this was a kind personality. She did need to get Ranma into school though, and she didn't know how 'Sgt. Sato' would react to turning into a girl but she would need to try. She spotted the half full water bottle on the ground In front of her and picked it up.

She then turned to Ranma and said, "Now please don't freak out when I do this…" she then tipped the water on top of Ranma's head. She waited and nothing Ranma didn't even flinch or move a muscle, "Uhh, you're not freaked out that you turned into a girl?" she asked.

Ranma looked down at herself then shook her head as she said, "No, ma'am a female soldier is just a great as a male soldier maybe even better in some aspects of war. I am most definitely not freaked out... that I am now a woman." She said proudly as she lowered her hand from a salute and placed it back at her side.

Akane looked at Ranma for a second because that was not the reaction she was expecting at all. She didn't have long to look though, as the bell started ringing signaling that they were both late to class and would have to hold buckets now.

Akane quickly took Ranma's arm and yelled, "Hurry, we're going to be late, Oh and call yourself Megumi when you're a girl Okay…" She rolled her eyes, "Sgt. Sato?"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Ranma said proudly.

 **To Be Continued…**

* * *

 **A/N: Now, I can have some fun! I have some things planned for a school day with 'Sgt. Sato' and I think everyone will enjoy it. Also, I don't know about you, but Genma is gonna be one unhappy camper when Ranma gets back home! :) I really could of had some more fun with 'Ranka' but damn I really didn't like how sexist it made me feel as I wrote her. Anyway, If you can guess who the personality with no name is based off of then leave it In a review and you'll get a cookie...**

 **Hey don't get mad at me if it doesn't work you have to enable cookies on your web browser first!**

 **-Leave a personality suggestion in a review and I'll most likely use it.-**


	8. Call Me Sir!

Split: Ranma and His Many Face's.

Chapter 8: Call Me Sir!

 **\- Disclaimer - There are curse words and rough language used in this chapter. The personality 'Sgt. Sato' is based on Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from the movie "Full Metal Jacket" so 'Sgt. Sato' will use rather harsh language at times. Also, the phrases that 'Sgt. Sato' uses are twisted and taken from that movie as well, so If Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from "Full Metal Jacket" makes you uncomfortable or makes you mad at the way he takes jabs at his cadet's sexuality I advise you to not read below this point.**

 **A/N: Just as I stated above I would like to say that what 'Sgt. Sato' says is not something I would ever say or ever even think about saying. I used that movie as a reference and based 'Sgt. Sato' off of what Sgt. Hartman says and does in the movie "Full Metal Jacket." Who was a drill sergeant during the Vietnam war. Now, if anyone is still reading I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma** **½** **in any way shape or form and I am not trying to use this to make any money. Ranma** **½** **is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and not by me.**

* * *

 **Akane**

Akane was sitting in class looking over at the redhead across from her. She had been trying to keep an eye on Ranma or 'Sgt. Sato' ever since the beginning of the school day. She found it odd that the same person who had yelled, beat, and bullied their own fathers was now being one of the best students in class. She jumped and tore her gaze away from the redhead when she heard the teacher call out, "Miss Tendo, could you tell me who it was that won the Battle of Sekigahara?"

Akane immediately froze; She had not been paying attention to his lecture at all since the beginning of class, so she did not know the answer. She had also forgotten to do the homework that they had due today, because of a certain redhead that had been taking up all of her free time. Before Akane could even try to answer the question though, the redhead who she was beginning to get mad at spoke up saying, "Sir, it was Tokugawa Ieyasu, Sir,"

Akane looked over at Ranma in disbelief with her mouth agape, ' _Wait... she knew that answer..._ _does that mean Ranma was always smart and he just hid it or is it just the personality?'_ Akane asked herself as she heard the teacher say, "Good Megumi, that is correct," Akane then gulped when the teacher narrowed his eyes at her, "But, next time let the student I call on answer the question,"

"Sir, yes, Sir," Ranma said as she brought her hand up to her head and saluted to the Teacher right as the bell rang signaling the end of class and Akane's eyes widened as she just thought about gym. She wasn't all too thrilled with the idea of Ranma even if it wasn't really Ranma changing with her, as well as the other girls in the locker room. Even if the other girls didn't know it was Ranma and thought it was 'Megumi' she still wasn't comfortable with the idea.

Akane was taken out of her little shock as she got nudged and looked up to see Sayuri standing beside her, "Hey Akane, umm... is Kiyoko into acting like you are?"

"Huh?" Akane blinked at her friend, "I mean, why would you think that?"

Sayuri bit her lip as she said, "It's just she's acting so much different than she did yesterday. It's like she's a completely different person… I just thought she might have been trying to get into character for maybe a role in the next school play or something."

Akane thought about this for a moment and it was actually a really good cover for 'Megumi' or as Sayuri knew her 'Kiyoko' acting differently at school from day to day, "Yes, yes she is really into acting," Akane said nodding her head, "so much so, that she likes to live as the character when she's trying to get it right."

"I thought so," Sayuri said, "and what's with everyone calling her Megumi? She told me her name was Kiyoko yesterday… was Kiyoko a role or is that just what she likes to be called by her close friends?"

Akane thought about this for a second; She could say that it was a role and that would kind of solve the issue. But, then she realized that 'Kiyoko' seemed to show up the most out of all the personalities, and would most likely not go by the name 'Megumi' no matter how much she tried to get her to go along with it. It seemed that she would have to lie to her friend and later, inform 'Sgt. Sato' of her other female name to go by, "No, well, I guess she just likes to be called that sometimes," Akane said.

Sayuri slowly nodded her head, "I see… by the way where is Kiyoko?" she asked.

Akane instantly snapped her head back to look at where the redhead was seated just mere moments ago, only to find an empty desk chair, ' _Oh, no this is bad! Where did she run off to?'_ Akane thought just as she heard two students by the window start talking, "Is that... that new girl, Megumi?" one girl asked a boy, "Uhh, I think so... she doesn't look too happy either; I think I'm gonna skip gym today too," the boy responded.

Akane leaped up from her desk, ran over to the window, and saw Ranma all dressed up in that military uniform again pacing and yelling at the boy's in front of her, ' _Where did she get that outfit again? Nabiki said she put it back with grandfather's things… ugh, whatever I need to go get her before something bad happens,'_ Akane thought right before she bolted out of the classroom.

* * *

 **Ranma or 'Sgt. Sato'**

Once Ranma had answered the question for Akane and heard the bell ring, she knew that gym class was next. She had seen the males at this school and knew something needed to change. So, she made her way down to the girl's locker room and went in with her usual Chinese garb and came out in the Japanese military uniform.

She saw one of the boys who from her memory she knew was named Hiroshi and followed him out to the practice field where she saw the coach standing lazily with his clipboard in one hand as he was slowly calling off roll. She walked up to the older man, yanked the clipboard out of his hand, and smacked him over the head with it as she yelled, "Stand up straight and call it off like you gotta pair!"

Coach Seison stood up rubbing his head and glared at the short little redhead, "Miss, I don't know who you think you ar-"

He only got that far before Ranma punched him in the gut as she said, "You will call me Sir, is that understood, Private!?"

All of the air was knocked out of his lungs and he did not want to upset the short little red-haired demon in front of him anymore so he squeaked out, "Yes, Sir,"

Ranma narrowed her eyes at the older man before grunting and turning her attention towards the group of boys who were staring at her with wide eyes. She started pacing back in forth in front of them as she yelled out, "My name is Sgt. Sato, and I've seen how you worthless maggots walk around here thinking that you're tough shit!" she got up in Hiroshi's face and screamed, "Well, you're wrong!" before she went back to pacing.

She walked over and stood in front of a scrawny looking boy with dark rings under his eye, "What's your name scumbag!?"

"Gosunkugi, Sir," Gosunkugi said weakly to the redhead in front of him.

Ranma got right up in Gosunkugi's face and screamed, "When you answer me I want the first and last thing out of your rotten good for nothing shit hole to be Sir, you got that!?"

Gosunkugi swallowed a lump in his throat as he said, "S-Sir, yes Sir,"

Ranma's eyebrow furrowed as she got even closer to Gosunkugi's face, "What's your excuse!?"

"S-Sir, excuse for w-what, S-Sir?" Gosunkugi asked.

"I'm asking the god damn questions here Private, do you understand!?" Ranma yelled.

"Sir, yes, Sir," Gosunkugi responded as a bead of sweat ran down his face.

"Well, thank you very much, can I be in charge for a while!?" Ranma screamed at him as a little bit of spit flew out of her mouth and landed on his cheek.

"Sir, yes, Sir," Gosunkugi said as he slightly nodded his head.

Ranma saw the reaction she was having on Gosunkugi, "Are you shook up, are you nervous!?"

"Sir, y-yes I am, Sir," Gosunkugi said as he started shaking slightly.

"Do I make you nervous!?" she asked him.

"S-Sir..." was all Gosunkugi responded with.

Ranma's whole face contorted in anger as she screamed at him, "Sir, Sir what? Where you about to call me bitch!?"

Gosunkugi shook his head as he said, "S-Sir, N-no I would never c-call a lady th-that, S-Sir,"

Ranma looked up and down at Gosunkugi before she saw his eyes dart over and look at the coach. She grabbed him by the chin and made him look at her as she asked, "What do you think he's better looking than me!? Do you like men, Private!?"

She let go of his face and Gosunkugi furiously shook his head, "Sir, no, Sir,"

"Are you a Rumpranger!?" She yelled.

Gosunkugi didn't know what that was but he knew he didn't want to be one, "Sir, no, Sir!" he responded.

She was about to scream at Gosunkugi some more but she heard someone say, "C'mon Megumi, leave em alone,"

She instantly shot her head towards the direction of the voice and marched over as she said, "Who the hell said that!?"

"I-I did, you shouldn't be picking on him like that," a boy that stood over a head taller than her said.

She marched over and looked him dead in the eye before she punched him right in the gut. She saw him keel over and fall to the ground holding his stomach, "I demand respect; You will address me as Sir, and who the hell are you!?" she asked as she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and brought him up to eye level with her.

"S-sir, I'm Daisuke, Sir," Dai responded just as he was able to stand on his own again.

Ranma glared at him as she said, "Awww, isn't that sweet, were you defending your boyfriend?" She nodded her head as she continued, "I see, so, you're another cock-juggling thunder-cunt, ain'tcha Private!?"

Dai shook his head, "Sir, no I'm not like that, Sir,"

"Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose," Ranma screamed at him, "I don't like the name, Daisuke, only fairies and sailors are named, Daisuke; From now on your Dipstick,"

"Sir, uhh, okay, Sir," Daisuke said in confusion.

Ranma just opened her mouth to say something else when she heard Akane call out, "Megumi, what are you doing? You should be practicing with us, we're already late as it is, hurry up."

Ranma spun and smiled, "Yes, ma'am, I was just getting these girls here," she pointed with her thumb to the group of guy's standing behind her, "a little pep talk," she then turned to address the boys, "Isn't that right girls!?" she yelled and smiled as they all chorused, "Sir, yes, Sir!" back to her.

Ranma turned around and shoved the clipboard she took from the coach right in the coach's chest hard as she said, "I think my job is done, you can take it from here," she walked a towards Akane and started to follow the youngest Tendo but stopped turned around and yelled, "Oh, keep an eye on Private Dipstick, I think he's a Peter Poofer!" Then continued following Akane back to the girl's locker room.

Hiroshi patted Daisuke's back as he said, "It's alright if you're into dude's man, I ain't gonna think any less of you,"

Dai spun around and clocked Hiroshi in the arm, "I'm not gay, dammit!"

Hiroshi stood up smiling as he rubbed his arm, "Are you sure, Private Dipstick?" he said while laughing.

Daisuke reared back to punch Hiroshi again but stopped when the coach yelled out, "Daisuke! Hiroshi, clearly isn't interested in you, leave him alone and get back in line!"

Daisuke turned around with his mouth agape before closed it and took in a deep breath right before he screamed at the coach, "I'm not gay!"

Hiroshi walked up behind Dai and patted him on the back as he said, "Ahh, c'mon man were just teasing you, no need to get all worked up over it,"

Daisuke grumbled and cursed 'Megumi' under his breath as he walked over and got back in line to start practice.

* * *

 **Ranma & Akane**

Ranma walked into the girl's locker room in a happy mood. To her, she felt like she had pissed off her cadets enough to make them train extra hard and push through the pain. She then felt someone tapping her shoulder, and turned only to see Akane holding out some clothes as she said, "Here change into these, and where did you get that uniform again anyway? I could have sworn Nabiki said she put it back up."

Ranma took the clothes from Akane and started changing, "Well ma'am, if she did then she just put it in my locker," She said as she pointed to the locker with 'Megumi' written above it.

Akane sighed and shook her head, "Whatever," she said then noticed Ranma was done changing, "let's just go we're already going to run extra for being late," she said as she grabbed Ranma's arm and raced out of the door.

* * *

 **After School**

The rest of the day went by smoothly for Akane; She barely had to look after Ranma at all. She was a little concerned when all of the boy's in their grade kept distancing themselves from Ranma, but shrugged it off as nothing because 'Sgt. Sato' was always nice to her and her friends, ' _The boy's must still be upset with her when 'Megumi' first showed up… ugh, I can't believe them 'Sgt. Sato' has been nice all day they're just being jerks… this is why I hate boys,'_ Akane thought as she walked through the front door of her home with Ranma and Nabiki right behind her.

Akane put her shoes up and took a few steps into the living room when Genma ran past her and up to Ranma as he said, "Kasumi won't have dinner ready for a few more hours, and I'm hungry why don't you go make your old man some food, eh boy?"

Akane cringed when she saw Ranma's face contort into pure rage right before she kneed Genma right in the gut knocking all of the air out of his lungs; Making him fall to the ground gasping for air. Akane then saw Ranma stand over Genma as she yelled, "I am not your maid, Private Jelly-Belly! You will address me as Sir, or do you need another reminder!?"

Akane shook her head as she made her way upstairs to work on her homework. She figured Ranma could handle herself, and at least they were at home now so she wouldn't have to worry about anyone saying Ranma's name.

Ranma, on the other hand, was having to deal with another disobedient cadet; When Genma got air back in his lungs he instinctively shot back up to his feet and got in a salute he as he said, "S-Sir, no, Sir!"

Ranma got her face mere inches from his as she yelled, "Well, I think you do!?" she then took a step back and looked around before she yelled out, "Private Tendo, where are you?"

Soun came running up and took position beside Genma in a salute as he announced, "Sir, Private Tendo reporting for duty, Sir!"

Ranma nodded her head as she glared at Genma, "Private Tendo, from now on you will be in charge of Private Jelly-Belly; When he screws up, you screw up, is that understood?"

Soun sweat dropped as he said, "Sir, yes, Sir,"

Ranma nodded her head, "Good, at least I can rely on one of you maggots," She then pointed to the back door and waited a moment for them to get moving before she stomped her foot and yelled, "Get a move on! I don't have all day; Your training starts now, let's go, let's go, let's go!"

Akane came downstairs about an hour later and blushed when she saw Genma and Soun sucking on their right thumbs as they marched around the backyard with their gi's around their ankles. Then she saw Ranma all dressed up in the military outfit again march up to the two of them and yell, "I told you Private Tendo, if he screws up you do too and you better keep Private Jelly-Belly in line from now on!"

Ranma then walked up behind Genma and kicked him in the back as she said, "You know your ass looks like about a hundred and fifty pounds of chewed bubble gum, Jelly-Belly; Did you know that?" making him land face first in the ground. Genma was furious as he jolted up and spun around in order to give Ranma a piece of his mind; All he got out was, "Boy ho-" before Ranma punched him in the face.

"What were you about to call me, Jelly-Belly!?" Ranma yelled at her father.

Genma rubbed his cheek as he straightened up and said, "S-Sir, nothing, Sir,"

"Do you think I'm dumb, Jelly-Belly!?" Ranma yelled, "Do you expect me to believe, that you weren't about to call me, boy!?"

"Sir, no, Sir," Genma responded.

"No, what!?" Ranma yelled, "No, you don't think I'm a dummy, or, no you weren't about to call me boy!?"

Genma froze for a second before saying, "Sir, I wasn't going to call you boy, Sir,"

Ranma clocked Genma in the jaw again as she yelled, "So, you think I'm some sort of dummy, is that it Jelly-Belly?"

Genma scowled as he rubbed his cheek again but did not want to make Ranma any angrier so he straightened up and said, "Sir, no, Sir,"

Ranma clocked Genma in the jaw one more time before she walked over to Soun and punched him in the face three times as she said, "I told you to keep him in line, Private Tendo; I'm not gonna tell you again!" She then turned to address both of her cadets as she yelled, "Let's go! Get that thumb back in your mouths and get to moving! We still got a few hours till nightfall, let's go, let's go, let's go!"

Akane buried her head in her hands when she saw their father start marching around the backyard again as if they were both toddlers while Ranma screamed random insults at them.' _I can't believe daddy is doing that...'_ She thought before she felt a hand rest on her shoulder and looked up to see Shampoo in one of her finest pink Cheongsam's, "Why Arien, acting like that?" Shampoo asked.

Akane didn't know how to respond but the only word that came to mind was, "Training," and that was all she said.

That seemed to be enough for Shampoo as she bobbed her head up and down before bouncing out the back door and wrapping herself around Ranma's arm and saying, "Airen take Shampoo on date now, yes?"

Ranma turned and looked at the purple-haired girl in a pink Chinese silk dress like she was crazy, "Uhh, sorry ma'a-" was all Ranma got out before she felt warm water cascade down her back as she heard the purple-haired girl say, "Shampoo like boy-type more than girl-type, we go on date now," Then started getting pulled away from punishing his cadets by her.

Ranma got dragged a few steps away before he planted his feet in the ground and said, "Look here ma'am, I'm sorry but-" He got cut off again as he heard someone yell, "How dare you try to steal my darling Shampoo! Ranma Saotome prepare to die!"

Shampoo saw Ranma start to collapse; Luckily, she was still wrapped around his arm when she leaped back in order to dodge a volley of chains that Mousse had sent out in Ranma's direction saving him from being hit. She saw him rise a moment later looking around as if he didn't know what was going on, but she turned her attention away from her Airen and glared at Mousse as she yelled, "Stupid, stupid Mu-Tsu, you almost hit Shampoo!"

Mousse adjusted his glasses and looked at the irate lavender-haired girl, "Oh, uhh sorry Shamp-" he got cut off as she threw an open water bottle at him turning him into a duck.

"Serves you right, stupid, stupid duck-boy," she huffed before she turned her attention back towards Ranma who was standing there staring at her in an odd way, "What wrong, Airen? You ready for date now, yes?" Shampoo asked.

Ranma looked at her with wide eyes as he said, "Like for realzies, you're like my girlfriend and stuff? That's neeto," He blushed and looked away from her before he asked, "H-have we done uhh... well, y-ya' know… it yet?"

Shampoo blinked at Ranma and tilted her head to the side in confusion for several reasons; One reason she was happy was that Ranma had said that she was his girlfriend. Another reason was that he had thought about her in a sexual way, and she had been trying to entice him for months now to no avail. The last reason was because of the previous reasons. She knew that Ranma would never act this way and was beginning to think something was seriously wrong with her Airen.

Shampoo turned her attention to Akane who was standing in the back doorway of the home, "What wrong with, Arien?" Shampoo asked dryly.

Akane didn't know what to say; She did not want to disclose Ranma's condition to the Amazons, but Shampoo didn't look like she was going to accept the nothing is wrong excuse anymore. Luckily, Soun interrupted Shampoo and her by running up to Ranma and asking, "Sir, may we please stop now, Sir?"

Both Akane and Shampoo turned and watched as Ranma smiled and patted Soun's head as he said, "Sure, man; You ain't gotta call me, Sir, though," Ranma eyes went wide as he looked at Soun and saw that his gi was around his ankles, "Yo, ahh… ya' know your kinda naked their man, you shouldn't walk around here like that," Akane and Shampoo then watched Ranma lean down and seemed to whisper something to Soun while pointing towards them. Which unbeknownst to them was, "The girlzies might see your willy man, you could like, go to jailzies and stuff,"

Shampoo and Akane looked at Ranma as if he had just grown a second head when he patted Soun on the head again and said, "Good talk, buddy," then walked back up to Shampoo and said, "Nothing's wrong with me Shampzies, are we gonna rock this Popsicle stand or what?"

Shampoo narrowed her eyes at Ranma, "Shampoo not know, you acting funny," She then turned her attention to Akane again, "What wrong with, Airen!?" she yelled as she stomped her foot.

' _Okay, I know I can't let the Amazons know about Ranma's condition, so one date won't hurt right. It's not like Ranma would actually try anything… would he… ugh, I don't know this Ranma he could be some perverted freak… I'll just have to tail them in case Ranma… or Shampoo takes it too far,'_ Akane thought before she laid a hand on Shampoo's shoulder and looked her dead in the eye and said, "Shampoo, nothing is wrong with Ranma he just wants to take you out on a date," She let out a breath of air, "and I'm fine with that,"

Shampoo was so excited about Ranma asking to take her out and Akane letting Ranma do it that she shrugged off his unnatural behavior and smiled as she said, "Hmm, okay then," to Akane before turning her attention towards Ranma and wrapping herself around his arm, "We go on date now, yes?" She asked as she looked up to him with dreamy eyes.

Ranma smiled as he rubbed the back of his head with his other arm and said, "Sure, but can I go change first Shampzies? I don't wanna go out on a date with ya dressed up like this," Shampoo nodded her head as she let go of her Airen and watched him walk back into the house and climb the stairs.

Akane sighed, "Do you want some tea while we wait for him?" she asked Shampoo as she started walking into the house and sat down at the table.

Shampoo shrugged her shoulder and sat down across the table from her rival for Ranma's heart. A few minutes later Ranma leaped down the stairs and landed on his hands as he exclaimed, "Don't I look neeto, or what?" then threw himself into the air as he spun and landed on his feet.

"Airen look extra handsome, where you get tux?" Shampoo asked as she stood up and walked over to Ranma.

Ranma shrugged his shoulders as he said, "It's a secret," He then paused before he raised his hand and made a fist with only his pinky finger extended, "Pinky promise and I'll tell ya?"

Shampoo blinked at his hand for a second before she locked her pinky with his and shook. Ranma then leaned down and whispered in Shampoo's ear, "I stole it from that naked man's room,"

"What did he say?" Akane asked as she thought, ' _those look like daddy's clothes… he didn't… did he?'_

Ranma looked scared as he grabbed Shampoo and looked her in the eye as he said, "You can't tell on me Shampzies, you pinky promised and that's like, a for realzies promise,"

Shampoo nodded her head and turned to Akane, "Akane too, too jealous that me and Airen so close now," She said as she wrapped herself around Ranma's arm and started pulling him towards the door, "We going on date now, bye Violent-Girl," which was followed by, "That's a neeto nickname Shampzies, bye Violent-girl," Ranma called out with a wave of his hand as they both exited the front door.

Akane waited a few seconds before she opened the front door and started trailing them.

 **To be continued…**

* * *

 **A/N: First off, I would like to apologize if I offended anybody with this chapter. Second, I hope if you weren't offended you enjoyed it. Below are a couple scenes that I really wanted to put into this story but just couldn't do it as it would have been too A/U for me to do so.**

- ** _Outtakes-_**

 **Ranma & Akane**

Ranma walked into the girl's locker room in a happy mood. To her, she felt like she had pissed off her cadets enough to make them train extra hard and push through the pain. She then felt someone tapping her shoulder, and turned only to see Akane holding out some clothes as she said, "Here change into these, and where did you get that uniform again anyway? I could have sworn Nabiki said she put it back up."

Ranma took the clothes from Akane and started changing, "Muffin Button," She said as she pointed to the locker with 'Megumi' written above it.

Akane snapped her head and looked at Ranma like she was crazy before she asked, "What... did you say Muffin Button?"

Ranma nodded her head as she said, "Yes ma'am, Muffin Button," She then began to dig through her locker before she came up with a small blue button that fit in her hand, "See,"

Akane stared at the mysterious blue button in Ranma hand for a second before she saw Ranma push it with her thumb and a blueberry muffin materialized in Ranma's other hand, "See, Muffin Button,"

Akane looked between Ranma and the button several times before she asked, "What... how... huh?" Akane shook her head to collect herself before she continued, "I mean, how did that button get you that outfit?"

Ranma looked at Akane like she was talking a different language before she said, "Science,"

Akane sighed and shook her head as she said, "Whatever, let's just go we're already going to run extra for being late," Then she grabbed Ranma's arm and raced out of the door.

 **Ranma & Shampoo**

Shampoo shrugged her shoulder and sat down across the table from her rival for Ranma's heart. A few minutes later Ranma leaped down the stairs and landed on his hands as he exclaimed, "Don't I look neeto, or what?" then threw himself into the air as he spun and landed on his feet.

"Airen look extra handsome, where you get tux?" Shampoo asked as she stood up and walked over to Ranma.

Ranma shrugged his shoulders as he said, "It's a secret," He then paused before he raised his hand and made a fist with only his pinky finger extended, "Pinky promise and I'll tell ya?"

Shampoo blinked at his hand for a second before she locked her pinky with his and shook. Ranma then leaned down and whispered in Shampoo's ear, "Muffin Button,"

Shampoo leaned back and asked in confusion, "Muff-" she got cut off as Ranma clasped his hand over her mouth and said, "Shampzies, you pinky promised and that's like, a for realzies promise,"

"Did he say Muffin Button?" Akane asked; She figured that's what it was not only from that little bit that she heard Shampoo say, but also previously from 'Sgt. Sato.'

Ranma looked at Akane in wonder and amazement as he asked, "Wowzies, are you like some sort'a brain reader?"

Akane shook her head as it seemed this Ranma was an idiot, but before she could respond Shampoo asked, "What Muffin Button?"

Ranma then pulled out a small blue button that read 'Muffin' on it and pressed it as a blueberry Muffin materialized in his other hand, "See Muffin Button," he said as he threw it up in the air and ate it in one whole bite.

"That's stupid," Shampoo said, "that no make sense, how button make tux?" Shampoo asked as she looked at the button curiously.

Ranma pulled his button close to him like he was offended by the way Shampoo asked him, "But it did, it's science and stuff,"

 _'was Airen always so stupid?'_ She thought before putting on a smile, wrapping herself around Ranma's arm, and pulling him towards the door, "We going on date now, bye Violent-Girl," which was followed by, "That's a neeto nickname Shampzies, bye Violent-girl," Ranma called out with a wave of his hand as they both exited the front door.

Akane waited a few seconds before she opened the front door and started trailing them.

 **-If you don't understand what the Muffin Button is, I would suggest typing in 'Goku's Muffin Button' in Youtube and watch the first video. Then reread these scenes, if you want to that is-**


End file.
